[Weekly Compilation of Presidential Documents Volume 37, Number 18 (Monday, May 7, 2001)]
[Pages 681-682]
[Online from the Government Publishing Office, www.gpo.gov]

<R04>
Remarks at the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner

April 28, 2001

    Thank you, Arlene. Laura and I are delighted to be here with all the 
major leaguers. [Laughter] Tonight I've decided to do something a little 
different. See, my mother, over the years, has put together at least 70 
scrapbooks about our life as a family. What I've done is pull out some 
of the actual, never-before-seen photos from these scrapbooks and create 
a little slide show. [Laughter] And so, Gordon, if everybody's cell 
phones are turned off--[laughter]--you can hit the lights.
    Tonight I present a Bush family album. What you may not realize is 
that I grew up at a time in Texas history when it was still a rough and 
tumble frontier. [Laughter] We were ranchers back then. [Laughter] This 
was my favorite horse. He was sure-footed, steady. I trusted that horse 
totally. And here's the really weird part: His name was Dick Cheney. 
[Laughter]
    But times were hard back then. [Laughter] This, of course, was 
during the great drought of 1953. [Laughter] Dad, Neil, Doro, Marvin, 
and Jeb--in my family, with all those kids in the tub, it's not arsenic 
in the water I'd be worried about. [Laughter] Personally, I've always 
preferred a private bath. [Laughter]
    This is my actual first-grade report card. Up top, it says, ``George 
W. Bush.'' And then notice the final grades on the right: Writing, A; 
Reading, A; Spelling, A; Arithmetic, A;

[[Page 682]]

Music, A; Art, A. So my advice is, don't peak too early. [Laughter]
    Here, I am with my fifth-grade science project. [Laughter] Built it 
myself. And it's still meeting our energy needs. [Laughter]
    I went on to college and graduate school, but somehow, the press has 
gotten the wrong idea, that I was a smart aleck party guy. [Laughter] 
This is an unfair perception. See, in college, I actually did a lot of 
independent reading. [Laughter]
    After graduation I joined the Texas Air National Guard. I'm the one 
who committed the State of Texas to defend Taiwan from attack. 
[Laughter] Speaking of pilots, I'm so proud and honored to welcome to 
our Nation's Capital, Lieutenant Shane Osborn and crewmember Lieutenant 
J.G. John Comerford. I hope you and your crew will be coming to the 
White House soon. I think you'll like it there. [Laughter] I know I've 
said this to you personally on the phone, but I'm proud to say it 
publicly, welcome back, Lieutenant.
    Some people wondered--and I'm sure there might have been a few out 
here--how I would handle the recent incident in China. Truth is, I have 
long been a serious student of the Orient. [Laughter] My mom and dad, of 
course, were in China when Dad was the U.S. liaison there. People have 
asked me, ``Is it difficult trying to follow in the footsteps of a man 
who was President, Vice President, U.N. Ambassador, a man who held so 
many other important jobs? Is it hard being such a man's son?'' Not 
really. [Laughter]
    Most people don't realize it, but Dad has had some tough times. 
[Laughter] Back in the fifties, he went through a period where he 
thought aliens were trying to contact him. [Laughter] So he built this 
contraption to receive their signals. [Laughter]
    As for my mom, after bearing six children she herself became a bit 
stressed. [Laughter] She took to acting very strangely. [Laughter] For a 
while, she thought she was too tall and walked like this. [Laughter] As 
if that weren't strange enough, next she wrote a book with that damn, 
mangy, ill-tempered dog. [Laughter] I hated that dog. [Laughter] My 
mother treated the dog better than she treated me. [Laughter] She never 
helped me write my book. [Laughter]
    I will say this, however, my mom always stuck up for us kids. Here's 
Mom replying to a reporter's question about something Barbra Streisand 
said recently. [Laughter]
    Fortunately, I've got great brothers and a great sister. Some people 
have asked me, however, if the vote recount left any hard feelings 
between my brother Jeb and me? Not a bit. In fact, here's a picture of 
the Governor of Florida. [Laughter]
    All this brings me to a seriouser point. [Laughter] Eventually, I 
met a woman named Laura Welch. She changed my life. She has given me as 
an adult what I enjoyed as a child, and that is a loving family. The 
defining moments in the Bush family are not when my father was elected 
President or when I was elected President. The defining moments have 
been family moments. Ladies and gentlemen, I've been blessed with a 
family that is full of love, and I pray the same for you.
    Good evening.

Note: The President spoke at 8:30 p.m. in the Ballroom at the Washington 
Hilton. In his remarks, he referred to his parents, former First Lady 
Barbara Bush and former President George Bush, brothers Neil Bush, 
Marvin Bush, and Gov. Jeb Bush of Florida, sister, Dorothy Bush Koch; 
Arlene Dillon, president, White House Correspondents' Association; 
Assistant Press Secretary Gordon Johndroe; and entertainer Barbra 
Streisand.