[Weekly Compilation of Presidential Documents Volume 37, Number 17 (Monday, April 30, 2001)]
[Pages 672-674]
[Online from the Government Publishing Office, www.gpo.gov]

<R04>
Remarks at a Celebration of Reading in Houston, Texas

April 26, 2001

    The President. Thank you all very much. Thank you very much. Laura 
and I are really glad to be back in Texas. [Laughter] I didn't realize, 
Dad, until I saw that video, how different your life has been since I'm 
the President and you're not. [Laughter] Sounds like it's been pretty 
rough. And perhaps you and I should sit down and have a discussion, talk 
about it. Let me think: I have an opening the 27th of September. 
[Laughter]
    We have some other family issues to discuss, like where to put my 
Presidential Library. [Laughter] I've decided not to go through the 
hassle of raising money. And so, you know my dad's library? We're just 
going to add, ``And Son.'' [Laughter] As you can already tell, lately my 
dad has been calling me ``43.'' I call him ``41.'' It's kind of 
shorthand we have in our family. And we have a nickname for Mother as 
well. To show you where she stands in the power structure of

[[Page 673]]

this family, we call her ``Number One.'' [Laughter]
    And so I'm going to turn the stage back to Number One, and then 
close the program with some remarks of my own. It's really great to be 
back in Houston and to return bearing the proudest title ever been given 
to me: Son of Barbara and George Bush.

[At this point, the Celebration of Reading proceeded.]

    The President. Well, thank you. Thank you, Laura. Once again, thank 
you all for that warm welcome. I know all of you join me in thanking the 
authors for being here tonight. The readings were fantastic, and we 
appreciate it.
    You've certainly set a high standard for a little reading I intend 
to do tonight. [Laughter] Now, some people think my mom took up the 
cause of literacy--[laughter]--out of a sense of guilt over my own 
upbringing. [Laughter] That's one reason why she was so happy I married 
a teacher.
    The truth is, I guess I could have paid a little closer attention 
when I was in English class, but it all worked out okay. [Laughter] I'm 
gainfully employed. [Laughter] And I even have a new book out, and I 
brought along a copy. Right, here it is. I didn't actually write all of 
this, but I did inspire it. [Laughter] Some guy put together a 
collection of my wit and wisdom. [Laughter] Or as he calls it, my 
accidental wit and wisdom.
    It's not exactly a world transformed, but I'm kind of proud that my 
words are already in book form. [Laughter] And I thought tonight I would 
share a few quotable passages with you. It's kind of like thoughts of 
Chairman Mao--[laughter]--only with laughs and not in Chinese. 
[Laughter]
    Here's one. And I actually said this. [Laughter] ``I know the human 
being and fish can coexist peacefully.'' [Laughter] Now, that makes you 
stop and think. [Laughter] Anyone can give you a coherent sentence, but 
something like this takes you to an entirely new dimension. [Laughter]
    Here's another: ``I understand small-business growth; I was one.'' 
[Laughter] My, do I love great literature. I said this up in New 
Hampshire: ``I appreciate preservation. It's what you've got to do when 
you run for President.'' [Laughter] ``You've got to preserve.'' You 
know, I really don't have the slightest idea what I was talking about 
there. [Laughter]
    You know, a lot of times on the campaign, they asked me about 
economics, and I actually said this. ``More and more of our imports come 
from overseas.'' [Laughter]
    Now, most people would say this when they're talking about the 
economy. ``We ought to make the pie bigger.'' [Laughter] However, I said 
this. [Laughter] ``We ought to make the pie higher.'' [Laughter] It is a 
very complicated economic point I was making there. [Laughter] But 
believe me--believe me, what this country needs is taller pie. 
[Laughter]
    And how about this for a foreign policy vision: ``When I was coming 
up, it was a dangerous world. And we knew exactly who the `they' were.'' 
[Laughter] ``It was `us' versus `them.''' [Laughter] ``And it was clear 
who the them was.'' [Laughter] ``Today, we're not so sure who the `they' 
are''--[laughter]--``but we know they're there.''
    John Ashcroft, by the way, attributes the way I talk to my religious 
fervor. In fact, the first time we met, he thought I was talking in 
tongues. [Laughter] Then there is my famous statement: ``Rarely is the 
question asked, is our children learning?'' [Laughter] Let's analyze 
that sentence for a moment. [Laughter] If you're a stickler, you 
probably think the singular verb ``is'' should have been the plural 
``are.'' But if you read it closely, you'll see that I'm using the 
intransitive plural subjective tense. [Laughter] And so the word ``is'' 
are correct. [Laughter]
    Now, ladies and gentlemen, you have to admit, in my sentences, I go 
where no man has gone before. [Laughter] But the way I see it is, I am a 
boon to the English language. I've coined new words, like 
``misunderestimate''--[laughter]--and ``Hispanically.'' [Laughter] I've 
expanded the definition of words, themselves, using ``vulcanize'' when I 
meant ``polarize''--[laughter]--``Grecians'' when I meant ``Greeks,'' 
``inebriating'' when I meant ``exhilarating.'' [Laughter] And instead of 
``barriers and tariffs,'' I said, ``terriers and barriffs.'' [Laughter]

[[Page 674]]

    We all make our contributions in the world, and I suppose mine will 
not be to the literary treasures of the Western Civilization. [Laughter] 
But I do hope to contribute in my own way. And one of those ways is to 
bring closer the day when every child and every American learns to read. 
And that is why the budget I submitted to the United States Congress 
triples the amount of money available for reading programs all across 
America.
    I'm proud of mother. She took up the cause more than a decade ago. 
And she didn't leave it behind in the White House. Through her efforts 
and the efforts of all who have helped the Barbara Bush Foundation, so 
many lives have been enriched with new opportunities.
    We heard Norma Vargas beautifully describe the good that has come 
into her life since she has found the courage to walk into that San Jose 
classroom to begin her first lesson. Tens of thousands more have their 
own stories. Stories of people finding new and better jobs, and gaining 
a new sense of dignity, because now they can read.
    And I'm proud that Laura has her own commitment to education. She 
was a teacher when I met her. In her own way, she will always be a 
teacher. She's the best kind of teacher, too, the kind who leaves no one 
out and believes in the possibilities of every person.
    That's the spirit of your cause and ours. I thank each of you for 
all you have contributed. It will be repaid many times over in lives of 
new achievement and lives of new hope.
    Thank you, and God bless.

Note: The President spoke at 7:04 p.m. at the Wortham Theater Center. 
The transcript released by the Office of the Press Secretary also 
included the remarks of former President George Bush, former First Lady 
Barbara Bush, First Lady Laura Bush, and former Prime Minister John 
Major of the United Kingdom.