[Weekly Compilation of Presidential Documents Volume 36, Number 14 (Monday, April 10, 2000)]
[Pages 758-760]
[Online from the Government Publishing Office, www.gpo.gov]

<R04>
Remarks at the Radio and Television Correspondents Association Dinner

April 6, 2000

[Prior to the President's remarks, music from the movie ``Titanic'' was 
played.]

    The President. Haunting, isn't it? [Laughter] You know, usually, I 
go for ``Hail To The Chief''--[laughter]--but this week I can't seem to 
get that song out of my head. [Laughter]
    Good evening, President Nolen, Senator McCain, Members of Congress, 
members of the Radio and Television Correspondents Association, 
distinguished journalists, Mr. DiCaprio. [Laughter]
    Now, ABC doesn't know whether Leo and I had an interview, a walk-
through, or a drive-by. [Laughter] But I don't know if all their damage 
control is worth the effort. I mean, it's a little bit like rearranging 
the deck chairs on the set of ``This Week With Sam and Cokie.'' 
[Laughter] Don't you newspeople ever learn? It isn't the mistake that 
kills you. It's the coverup. [Laughter]
    Now, look, I want to say right now, I have nothing against ABC. I 
like ABC just as much as I like all the other networks. [Laughter] Just 
the other day, for example, Diane Sawyer came to the White House for an 
interview. Actually, she called it a visit. [Laughter] And everything 
was fine until she asked me to do some crayon pictures in the Oval 
Office. [Laughter] That was weird.
    But I just want to say this to David Westin. You know, I've been in 
a lot of tough spots. Don't let this get you down. [Laughter] You may 
not be America's news leader, but you're ``King of the World.'' 
[Laughter]
    Wait a minute, before I go any further, I want to welcome the really 
funny person who is here tonight, the man who impersonates me every week 
on ``Saturday Night Live,'' Mr. Darrell Hammond. And Darrell, I want you 
to know I used to think you were really funny but not so much anymore. I 
think it's Clinton fatigue. [Laughter]
    Poor Darrell, what's he going to do when I leave office? [Laughter] 
Come to think of it, what am I going to do? [Laughter] I know that 
you've heard me say I hope to join the Senate spouses club. But I've 
been thinking, I don't really want to be a member of the Senate spouses 
club. I want to be president of the Senate spouses club. [Laughter]
    You know what the big, hot issue on Capitol Hill is today? The 
majority party, otherwise known as the Republicans, are raising a ruckus 
about this census long form. They say these questions are too intrusive. 
Maybe it's just a matter of perspective. [Laughter] Depends on whether 
you're the asker or the answerer. [Laughter] But I'd be pretty hard-
pressed to call these questions intrusive. You should look at the 
questionnaire those guys sent me. [Laughter] Maybe again, I don't think 
you should. [Laughter]
    You know what question really upsets the Republicans on the census 
form? Question 19: ``Are you better off today than you were at the last 
census?'' [Laughter] I mean, even

[[Page 759]]

a Presidential candidate has made this an issue. Just the other day he 
said he might leave his own census form blank. Hmmm--a blank census 
form? An adult literacy program? It's starting to add up. [Laughter] 
Sounds like a cry for help to me. [Laughter] Governor Bush even refused 
to state his date of birth, on the grounds that it happened more than 25 
years ago. [Laughter]
    But he's not the only person who's uptight about this long form. Let 
me just read you some of the questions that other prominent public 
officials refused to answer. For example, except for Senator McCain, the 
entire Republican caucus refused to answer this one: ``Have you recently 
changed your policy on interracial dating?'' [Laughter] ``If so, do you 
know for sure your date is not a Catholic?'' [Laughter] ``Regardless, 
please attach parental approval slip.''
    Here's the second one. ``What is the deal with your hair?'' 
[Laughter] Trent Lott refused to answer that. [Laughter] Then again, so 
did Hillary. [Laughter] Wait a minute. How about this one. I thought 
this was important--how about this one: ``Do you work and play well with 
others?'' [Laughter] Mayor Giuliani had no comment. [Laughter] There's a 
first time for everything. [Laughter]
    But look, I know the question that's on everyone's mind today, this 
custody battle involving the Gonzalez family and the United States and 
Cuba. And I know the new hot issue is about my difference of opinion 
with Vice President Gore. But with all respect, you newspeople have 
missed the real story here, and there is a real story. We have finally 
found the one immigrant Pat Buchanan wants to keep in America. 
[Laughter]
    Look, it's no secret, Presidents and Vice Presidents have always 
disagreed. So it's time to set the record straight on the whole range of 
issues where the Vice President and I differ. For example, in June he 
will reveal his plan to relocate the United Nations Headquarters in 
Nashville--[laughter]--a bold, new idea. But I don't agree with it. 
Indeed, I'm growing more partial to New York every day.
    When it comes to campaign finance, we differ. In our beverage of 
choice, I drink coffee; he drinks iced tea. However, if I'd known back 
then about the iced tea defense, I'd drunk tea, too. [Laughter]
    In the days before the Democratic Convention, Al will publicly 
announce another longstanding disagreement we've had. We've kept it 
under wraps for over 7 years now. It involves our weekly White House 
lunches. He strongly believes it is rude for one person to eat off 
another person's plate. [Laughter] Me, I think it's a sign of friendship 
and familiarity. [Laughter]
    On technology issues, God bless him, Al invented E-mail. Me, I just 
can't find them. [Laughter] Everybody now knows the Vice President 
prefers earth-tone; all you see me in is primary colors. [Laughter] We 
both share an abiding interest in Buddhism. [Laughter] But when I 
visited the Buddhists in India, it cost the taxpayers millions. When Al 
meets with Buddhists, he turns a tidy profit. [Laughter]
    Now, our differences notwithstanding, I am a strong supporter of the 
Vice President. But beyond that, I'm not going to comment. After all, 
I'm not running for anything. For the first time in more than 20 years, 
my name is not on the ballot. This election is not about me. And hey, 
I'm okay with that. [Laughter] Suits me just fine. It's all of you in 
the media who keep trying to drag me into this thing. I mean, I don't 
see how it involves me at all. I'm the Commander in Chief. I've got a 
lot of responsibilities. Even if I were inclined to impose myself, which 
I'm not, I wouldn't have time. Except for last weekend, when I did find 
just a few hours to produce a few campaign ads for Al. I'd like you to 
take a look at them and tell me what you think.

[At this point, a videotape was shown with the President speaking, as 
follows.]

    ``This November, Americans face the future. The stakes are high, and 
the choice is clear. One candidate has worked for 8 years with Bill 
Clinton. He's considered by Bill Clinton to be a close, personal friend, 
helping make his toughest decisions, a partner in progress as Bill 
Clinton moves America forward. The other candidate has never worked a 
day with Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton hardly even knows the guy, and when 
Bill Clinton

[[Page 760]]

first ran for President, he voted against Bill Clinton. Al Gore--he's 
Bill Clinton's choice. Shouldn't he be yours?''
    ``When Bill Clinton chose Al Gore as his running mate, the 
conventional wisdom called it a mistake. They said Gore was too much 
like Clinton. Too much like Clinton? Too visionary? Too strong? With a 
plan that would bring America too much prosperity, and the world too 
much peace? Bill Clinton stood up to the pundits and stared down the 
pollsters. Choosing Al Gore was one of his very best decisions. And 
doesn't that tell you a lot about Bill Clinton? Al Gore--too much like 
Clinton? Good for him; good for us.''
    ``As America's greatest Vice President, Al Gore has been a voice for 
our values, a fighter for our families, more than that, a strong partner 
to Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton, a small-town boy from Arkansas who dared 
to dream big dreams. Young Bill worked hard and played by the rules. He 
went on to lead his country and build a bridge to the 21st century. Most 
important, Bill Clinton created AmeriCorps. Bill Clinton still believes 
in the promise of America, and he still believes in a place called Hope. 
Al Gore--because there's a 22d amendment.''
    The President. Unfortunately, all these ads would be illegal under 
the Vice President's campaign finance proposal--[laughter]--not because 
they're unethical, certainly not because they're untrue, because they're 
just dumb. [Laughter]
    Of course, in America, each of us has the constitutional right to 
silly or dumb speech. I have certainly asserted my right here tonight. 
But I think we should take another moment to honor that essential 
freedom, to recognize that vital principle, by asking the members of the 
McLaughlin Group to stand. [Laughter]
    Let me say to all of you, I really am okay most days about not being 
President next year. And it will be nice for all of you to have someone 
else to chew on. But I have loved coming to this dinner, and I have been 
privileged to come every year but one that I have been here. I have 
enjoyed all my interactions with you, the battles, the agreements, the 
disagreements, the probing, the jabbing, even the occasional bloodshed. 
And believe it or not, I appreciate the efforts you make to bring 
Washington's world to the world beyond Washington. I know it's 
important; I know it's difficult.
    I've tried to keep you entertained, and I've tried to keep you 
involved. [Laughter] And I hope you've at least had some pretty good, 
substantive things to write about for the last 7-plus years. But for all 
you have done, and especially once a year for giving me, and indeed all 
of us, the chance to have a good laugh, I thank you very, very much.

Note: The President spoke at 9:34 p.m. in the Ballroom at the Washington 
Hilton. In his remarks, he referred to John Nolen, president, Radio and 
Television Correspondents Association, actor Leonardo DiCaprio; David 
Westin, president, ABC News; Gov. George W. Bush of Texas; Mayor Rudolph 
Giuliani of New York City; and author Patrick Buchanan.