    [Weekly Compilation of Presidential Documents Volume 35, Number 11 (Monday, March 22, 1999)]
    [Pages 466-468]
    [Online from the Government Publishing Office, www.gpo.gov]

    <R04>
    Remarks to the Radio and TV Correspondents' Dinner

    March 18, 1999

        The President. Thank you very much. Thank you very much, Jim. I want
    to thank all the officers for making me feel so welcome. Evelyn, thank
    you for the great dinner conversation--Mr. Speaker, Members of Congress,
    my fellow Americans. I want to thank you for your invitation to come
    have dinner with 2,000 members of the Washington press corps. [Laughter]
    I accepted. If this isn't contrition, I don't know what is. [Laughter]
        I know you can't really laugh about this. I mean, the events of the
    last year have been quite serious. If the Senate vote had gone the other
    way, I wouldn't be here tonight. I demand a recount. [Laughter]
        Look, this is just the beginning of my week with the press. Tomorrow
    I've got a press conference and then the Gridiron dinner the day after
    that. You'd think I was selling a book. [Laughter] Now, I know it's been
    a long time since I had a press conference, but I remember it well.
    [Laughter] All those questions that day about the nomination of Zoe
    Baird. [Laughter]
        Look, you can probably tell I'm a little nervous being around all
    these reporters tonight. So if you will forgive me, I'd like to employ a
    method that has worked pretty well for me over the last year.

    [At this point, ``Fuffles and Flurishes'' was played and the Prime
    Minister of the United Republic of Carjackador, Joreb Onspot, was
    announced.]

        The President. Your Excellency, welcome to the United States.
    [Laughter] The podium is yours. [Laughter]

    [The Prime Minister spoke briefly in a foreign language.]

        The President. Well your Excellency, without my headphones, I have
    no idea what you just said. [Laughter] But it sounded very much like
    words of praise. I want you to know that they mean more to me than I
    could possibly express. [Laughter]

    [The Prime Minister replied briefly in a foreign language.]

        The President. I agree with that, as well. [Laughter]
        Now, your Excellency, this is just a dinner with the press. Tomorrow
    is the real press conference. I look forward to seeing you there.
    [Laughter]
        Now, I know that the press corps has been busy preparing questions
    for me. So I've been working on the answers. Never mind the questions;
    here are the answers. [Laughter]
        ``Yes, Helen.'' ``She was first, Sam. I'll get to you, Sam. Not yet,
    though.'' ``The longest peacetime expansion in history.'' ``No, I didn't
    watch it.'' [Laughter] ``No, I haven't read it.'' [Laughter] ``Yes,
    Wolf, I am doing this press conference because Joe made me do it.''
        Your Excellency, why don't you just have a seat right here, just
    listen to the translation, and I'll ask you to join me again if I need
    some cover. [Laughter]
        Now, I know there's been a lot of interest in the future political
    career of the First Lady. I honestly don't know what she'll decide, but
    I can tell you this. Yesterday at breakfast, she was complaining that it
    is impossible to get a decent bagel in Washington. [Laughter] By the
    way, I'm from Arkansas. You know, what is a schmeer? [Laughter]
        The Prime Minister. [Unintelligible]--Philadelphia Cream Cheese.
        The President. Cream cheese. Thank you very much. I got it.
        And you know, the Vice President's been busy, too. When I was in
    Central America, I turned on my trusty C-SPAN, and I saw the Vice
    President talking about how rough it is to travel on airplanes these
    days, the delays, the lost baggage, the disgusting meals. [Laughter] Al,
    I didn't know it was that bad on Air Force II. [Laughter] I think he's
    due for an upgrade.

    [[Page 467]]

        Aren't you glad Garrison Keillor is here? I welcome you, sir, to
    Washington, where all the lobbyists are strong, all the politicians
    think they're good-looking, and all of the lawyers are above average.
    [Laughter] I'm glad Governor Ventura let you out of the head lock, and I
    hope he let's you go home to Minnesota.
        Folks, I was going to make jokes about the House Republicans
    tonight, about the managers. It wouldn't be fair; they're not here to
    defend themselves. They're all at the ``Taliban Correspondents
    Association Dinner.'' [Laughter] You know, the House managers were
    really unhappy with the Senate verdict. In fact, they're appealing it to
    the judges in the Holyfield-Lewis fight. [Laughter]
        This is a pretty tough time for the right wing. The president of the
    Council of Conservative Citizens had to resign because of his alleged
    ties to Bob Barr. [Laughter]
        Now, look, as I have often said, politics aside, this is truly a
    great moment for America. Since I took office, more than 18 million new
    jobs--opportunity abundant. But there are pockets of our economy that
    have been hurt by change----
        Prime Minister. Oh, Bob Barr! [Laughter]
        The President. He and I liked it better than you did. [Laughter]
        Anyway, as I was saying, in spite of all this prosperity, there are
    some pockets of our economy that have really been hurt by change. For
    example, now that the trial is over, we have a responsibility to do
    something about the growing ranks of dislocated pundits. [Laughter] You
    know, in this era of technological change, the average worker will
    change jobs 7 times. And now we know that for a full 50 percent of them,
    one of those jobs will be a short stint as a panelist on MSNBC.
    [Laughter]
        My friends, when their time in Washington is up, we simply must help
    displaced pundits make the most of the opportunities of the 21st
    century. This is a challenge best met at the State level. [Laughter]
        So I propose a new relocation grant, to move Washington's pundits
    out to our 50 States, the laboratories of democracy--[laughter]--to give
    them new, fresh, vibrant opportunities to torment our Nation's
    Governors--[laughter]--from Trenton to Tallahassee and Albany to Austin.
    I also want you to know that I am absolutely firmly committed to passing
    the long overdue Pundits' Bill of Rights: You have the right to a fresh
    Danish in the green room, the right to interrupt others, the right to
    shout down Chris Matthews--I think that's an obligation, myself--
    [laughter]--and never, never should you have to make the painful choice
    between the beat you cover and the talk show you love. [laughter]
        Now, the cable networks have to fill 24 hours of news programming
    with 24 minutes worth of actual news. [Laughter] That's pretty tough.
    Anyway, here are a few of the better ideas for new shows: ``MSNBC In
    Crisis''--[laughter]--``Inside the Politics of `Burden of Proof ' ''--
    [laughter]--``Totally Subpoenaed Videos.'' [Laughter] But just for you
    tonight, we got our hands on a preview of cable news next really big
    show. Here it is, look on the video screen.

    [At this point, a video of ``Punditubbies'' with journalist Robert Novak
    hosting Teletubbies Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa, and Po was shown.]

        I'll explain it to you later, your Excellency. [Laughter]
        Well, there has been some real news this week. The DNC announced it
    will hold the 2000 Democratic Convention in Los Angeles. But what you
    may not know is that the Los Angeles Planning Committee insisted on some
    minor changes in the convention format. For example, the Democratic
    candidate must start his acceptance speech by thanking the Academy and
    saying what an honor it is just to be nominated. [Laughter] In addition
    to the red-meat rhetoric of usual, there will be a fabulous vegetarian
    plate prepared by Wolfgang Puck. Tough questions will now be handled by
    stunt doubles. There'll be a fundraiser at Grauman's Chinese Theater.
    And basically--even after it's over--in Hollywood, Oscars will still be
    bigger than the convention.
        Speaking of the Oscars, everybody's got his or her own pick for Best
    Picture. Now, I like some in particular, but none of these were
    nominated. But there were a lot of pictures

    [[Page 468]]

    about Washington this year, and I think they deserve a little
    consideration.
        There was ``Leaving Los Alamos,''

    ``You've Got Subpoenas,''--[laughter]--``Throw Momma in the Grand
    Jury.'' One of my favorites, the prequel to ``Star Wars,'' ``The Robert
    Fiske Story''--[laughter]--and ``Saving Private Life.'' [Laughter]
        Now that this speech has gone on long enough, I know we should work
    together to bring it to closure. So I want you to let me say something,
    just for a moment, serious. There are three journalists here tonight
    from Radio Free Asia who sought to cover my trip to China last year but
    had their visas canceled by the Chinese Government. I was pleased to sit
    for an interview with them before I left and took the opportunity to say
    that China had made a serious mistake.
        This, of course, is part of a larger problem, because around the
    world, still, journalists are barred, harassed, imprisoned, sometimes
    even murdered, for the crime of seeking and speaking the truth. When
    leaders in China or anywhere else do this, it is a cause for dismay. And
    what leaders everywhere must realize is that a robust and independent
    press actually strengthens a nation. It promotes debate, and in a free
    society, given enough time, the people pretty much always get it right.
        Together we must continue to state forcefully our belief that free
    expression and independent journalism are absolutely essential to
    building better societies and protecting the rights of all people. In
    the daily push and pull of our jobs and lives, we should never lose
    sight of that one goal, which I know every person in this room shares,
    not only tonight but every night.
        All in all, this hasn't been too bad. I'd do it again. In fact, I'm
    dumb enough to do it again tomorrow. So I'll see you tomorrow in the
    East Room. Look for me. I'll be the guy without the red sash. [Laughter]
        Thank you, and good night.

    Note: The President spoke at 10:30 p.m. in the International Ballroom at
    the Washington Hilton. In his remarks, he referred to Jim Mills,
    president, Radio and TV Correspondents Association; Evelyn Thomas, CBS
    News; former Attorney General nominee Zoe Baird; Helen Thomas, United
    Press International; Sam Donaldson, ABC News; Wolf Blitzer, CNN; radio
    entertainer Garrison Keillor; Gov. Jesse Ventura of Minnesota; boxers
    Evander Holyfield and Lennox Lewis; Chris Matthews, CNBC; and chef
    Wolfgang Puck. Actor Nick Olcott appeared as the Prime Minister of the
    fictional nation of Carjackador.