[Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: GEORGE W. BUSH (2001, Book I)]
[March 29, 2001]
[Pages 345-347]
[From the U.S. Government Publishing Office www.gpo.gov]



Remarks at the Radio and Television Correspondents Association Dinner
March 29, 2001

    Thank you all very much. Well, Lew, thank 
you very much. Laura and I are thrilled to be here.
    I appreciate the members of the press. I think you serve a very 
useful purpose, especially tonight. As you know, we're studying safe 
levels for arsenic in drinking water. [Laughter] To base our decision on 
sound science, the scientists told us we needed to test the water 
glasses of about 3,000 people. [Laughter] Thank you for participating. 
[Laughter]
    It's good to see so many Members of the Congress here, my fellow 
Texan Tom DeLay here at the head table. Lew asked 
me a little earlier if Tom ever smiled. I said, ``I don't know. I've 
only known him 9 years.'' [Laughter]
    Senator Lieberman is here. We all 
know Joe is an Orthodox Jew, so he does no work from sundown Friday 
until sundown Saturday. This has so impressed me, I myself am thinking 
of converting--[laughter]--so I don't have nothing to do from

[[Page 346]]

sundown Saturday to sundown Friday. [Laughter]
    Most of you probably didn't know that I have a new book out. Some 
guy put together a collection of my wit and wisdom or, as he calls it, 
my accidental wit and wisdom. [Laughter] But I'm kind of proud that my 
words are already in book form. So like other authors, I thought I'd 
read from it tonight. [Laughter] It's like the thoughts of Chairman Mao, 
only with laughs and not in Chinese. [Laughter]
    Here's one from the book--and I actually said this. [Laughter] ``I 
know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.'' [Laughter] Now, 
that makes you stop and think. [Laughter] Anyone can give you a coherent 
sentence, but something like this takes you into an entirely new 
dimension. [Laughter]
    Here's another: ``I understand small-business growth; I was one.'' 
[Laughter] You know, I love great literature. [Laughter]
    I actually said this in New Hampshire: ``I appreciate preservation. 
It's what you do when you run for President. You've got to preserve.'' 
[Laughter] I don't have the slightest idea what I was saying there. 
[Laughter]
    Or how about this one: ``More and more of our imports come from 
overseas.'' [Laughter]
    Now, most people would say, in speaking of the economy, we ought to 
make the pie bigger. I, however, am on record saying, ``We ought to make 
the pie higher.'' [Laughter] It is a very complicated economic point I 
was making there. [Laughter] But believe me, what this country needs is 
taller pie. [Laughter]
    And how about this for foreign policy vision: ``When I was coming 
up, it was a dangerous world, and we knew exactly who the `they' were. 
It was `us' versus `them,' and it was clear who the `them' was.'' 
[Laughter] ``Today, we're not so sure who the `they' are, but we know 
they're there.'' [Laughter]
    John Ashcroft, by the way, attributes the way I talk to my religious 
fervor. In fact, the first time we met, he thought I was talking in 
tongues. [Laughter]
    Then there is my most famous statement: ``Rarely is the question 
asked, is our children learning?'' [Laughter] Let us analyze that 
sentence for a moment. [Laughter] If you're a stickler, you probably 
think the singular verb ``is'' should have been the plural ``are.'' But 
if you read it closely, you'll see I'm using the intransitive plural 
subjunctive tense. [Laughter] So the word ``is'' are correct. [Laughter]
    Finally, let's see you wordsmiths out there diagram this sentence: I 
said--this may sound a little west Texan to you--``but when I'm talking 
about myself and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking 
about me.'' [Laughter]
    Now, ladies and gentlemen, you have to admit, in my sentences, I go 
where no man has gone before. [Laughter]
    But in closing, the way I see it is, I am a boon to the English 
language. I've coined new words, like ``misunderstanding'' and 
``Hispanically.'' [Laughter] I've expanded the definition of words 
themselves, using ``vulcanized'' when I meant ``polarized,'' 
``Grecians'' when I meant ``Greeks,'' ``inebriating'' when I meant 
``exhilarating''--[laughter]--and instead of ``barriers and tariffs,'' I 
said ``terriers and bariffs.'' [Laughter]
    And you know what? Life goes on. [Laughter] My wife and my daughters 
still love me. [Laughter] Our military still protects our shores. 
[Laughter] Americans still get up and go to work. [Laughter] People 
still go out and have fun, as we're doing tonight.
    I don't think it's healthy to take yourself too seriously. But what 
I do take seriously is my responsibility as President to all the 
American people and to the office I hold. And that is what I came 
tonight to tell you.
    Thank you for inviting me, and thank you for your ``horspitality.'' 
[Laughter]

[[Page 347]]

Note: The President spoke at 9:40 p.m. in the National Ballroom at the 
Hilton Washington and Towers. In his remarks, he referred to Lew 
Ketcham, chairman, Radio and Television Correspondents Association.