[Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: WILLIAM J. CLINTON (2000, Book I)]
[April 6, 2000]
[Pages 650-652]
[From the U.S. Government Publishing Office www.gpo.gov]


[[Page 650]]


Remarks at the Radio and Television Correspondents Association Dinner
April 6, 2000

[Prior to the President's remarks, music from the movie ``Titanic'' was 
played.]

    The President. Haunting, isn't it? [Laughter] You know, usually, I 
go for ``Hail To The Chief''--[laughter]--but this week I can't seem to 
get that song out of my head. [Laughter]
    Good evening, President Nolen, Senator 
McCain, Members of Congress, members of the 
Radio and Television Correspondents Association, distinguished 
journalists, Mr. DiCaprio. [Laughter]
    Now, ABC doesn't know whether Leo and 
I had an interview, a walk-through, or a drive-by. [Laughter] But I 
don't know if all their damage control is worth the effort. I mean, it's 
a little bit like rearranging the deck chairs on the set of ``This Week 
With Sam and Cokie.'' [Laughter] Don't you newspeople ever learn? It 
isn't the mistake that kills you. It's the coverup. [Laughter]
    Now, look, I want to say right now, I have nothing against ABC. I 
like ABC just as much as I like all the other networks. [Laughter] Just 
the other day, for example, Diane Sawyer came 
to the White House for an interview. Actually, she called it a visit. 
[Laughter] And everything was fine until she asked me to do some crayon 
pictures in the Oval Office. [Laughter] That was weird.
    But I just want to say this to David Westin. You know, I've been in a lot of tough spots. Don't let 
this get you down. [Laughter] You may not be America's news leader, but 
you're ``King of the World.'' [Laughter]
    Wait a minute, before I go any further, I want to welcome the really 
funny person who is here tonight, the man who impersonates me every week 
on ``Saturday Night Live,'' Mr. Darrell Hammond. And Darrell, I want you to know I used to think you 
were really funny but not so much anymore. I think it's Clinton fatigue. 
[Laughter]
    Poor Darrell, what's he going to do when 
I leave office? [Laughter] Come to think of it, what am I going to do? 
[Laughter] I know that you've heard me say I hope to join the Senate 
spouses club. But I've been thinking, I don't really want to be a member 
of the Senate spouses club. I want to be president of the Senate spouses 
club. [Laughter]
    You know what the big, hot issue on Capitol Hill is today? The 
majority party, otherwise known as the Republicans, are raising a ruckus 
about this census long form. They say these questions are too intrusive. 
Maybe it's just a matter of perspective. [Laughter] Depends on whether 
you're the asker or the answerer. [Laughter] But I'd be pretty hard-
pressed to call these questions intrusive. You should look at the 
questionnaire those guys sent me. [Laughter] Maybe again, I don't think 
you should. [Laughter]
    You know what question really upsets the Republicans on the census 
form? Question 19: ``Are you better off today than you were at the last 
census?'' [Laughter] I mean, even a Presidential candidate has made this 
an issue. Just the other day he said he might leave his own census form 
blank. Hmmm--a blank census form? An adult literacy program? It's 
starting to add up. [Laughter] Sounds like a cry for help to me. 
[Laughter] Governor Bush even refused to 
state his date of birth, on the grounds that it happened more than 25 
years ago. [Laughter]

    But he's not the only person who's 
uptight about this long form. Let me just read you some of the questions 
that other prominent public officials refused to answer. For example, 
except for Senator McCain, the entire Republican 
caucus refused to answer this one: ``Have you recently changed your 
policy on interracial dating?'' [Laughter] ``If so, do you know for sure 
your date is not a Catholic?'' [Laughter] ``Regardless, please attach 
parental approval slip.''

    Here's the second one. ``What is the deal with your hair?'' 
[Laughter] Trent Lott refused to answer that. 
[Laughter] Then again, so did Hillary.  [Laughter] Wait a minute. How about this one--I 
thought this was important--how about this one: ``Do you work and play 
well with others?'' [Laughter] Mayor Giuliani had no comment. [Laughter] There's a first time for 
everything. [Laughter]

    But look, I know the question that's on everyone's mind today, this 
custody battle involving the Gonzalez family and the United States and

[[Page 651]]

Cuba. And I know the new hot issue is about my difference of opinion 
with Vice President Gore. But with all 
respect, you newspeople have missed the real story here, and there is a 
real story. We have finally found the one immigrant Pat 
Buchanan wants to keep in America. [Laughter]

    Look, it's no secret, Presidents and Vice Presidents have always 
disagreed. So it's time to set the record straight on the whole range of 
issues where the Vice President and I differ. For example, in June 
he will reveal his plan to relocate the 
United Nations Headquarters in Nashville--[laughter]--a bold new idea. 
But I don't agree with it. Indeed, I'm growing more partial to New York 
every day.

    When it comes to campaign finance, we differ. In our beverage of 
choice, I drink coffee; he drinks iced tea. However, if I'd known back 
then about the iced tea defense, I'd have drunk tea, too. [Laughter]

    In the days before the Democratic Convention, Al will publicly announce another longstanding disagreement 
we've had. We've kept it under wraps for over 7 years now. It involves 
our weekly White House lunches. He strongly believes it is rude for one 
person to eat off another person's plate. [Laughter] Me, I think it's a 
sign of friendship and familiarity. [Laughter]

    On technology issues, God bless him, Al 
invented E-mail. Me, I just can't find them. [Laughter] Everybody now 
knows the Vice President prefers earth-tone; all you see me in is 
``Primary Colors.'' [Laughter] We both share an abiding interest in 
Buddhism. [Laughter] But when I visited the Buddhists in India, it cost 
the taxpayers millions. When Al meets with Buddhists, he turns a tidy 
profit. [Laughter]

    Now, our differences notwithstanding, I am a strong supporter of the 
Vice President. But beyond that, I'm not 
going to comment. After all, I'm not running for anything. For the first 
time in more than 20 years, my name is not on the ballot. This election 
is not about me. And hey, I'm okay with that. [Laughter] Suits me just 
fine. It's all of you in the media who keep trying to drag me into this 
thing. I mean, I don't see how it involves me at all. I'm the Commander 
in Chief. I've got a lot of responsibilities. Even if I were inclined to 
impose myself, which I'm not, I wouldn't have time. Except for last 
weekend, when I did find just a few hours to produce a few campaign ads 
for Al. I'd like you to take a look at them and tell me what you think.

[At this point, a videotape of the President was shown, in which he 
spoke as follows.]

    ``This November, Americans face the future. The stakes are high, and 
the choice is clear. One candidate has worked for 8 years with Bill 
Clinton. He's considered by Bill Clinton to be a close personal friend, 
helping make his toughest decisions, a partner in progress as Bill 
Clinton moves America forward. The other candidate has never worked a 
day with Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton hardly even knows the guy, and when 
Bill Clinton first ran for President, he voted against Bill Clinton. 
Al Gore--he's Bill Clinton's choice. 
Shouldn't he be yours?

    ``When Bill Clinton chose Al Gore as 
his running mate, the conventional wisdom called it a mistake. They said 
Gore was too much like Clinton. Too much like Clinton? Too visionary? 
Too strong? With a plan that would bring America too much prosperity, 
and the world too much peace? Bill Clinton stood up to the pundits and 
stared down the pollsters. Choosing Al Gore was one of his very best 
decisions. And doesn't that tell you a lot about Bill Clinton? Al Gore--
too much like Clinton? Good for him; good for us.

    ``As America's greatest Vice President, Al Gore has been a voice for our values, a fighter for our 
families, more than that, a strong partner to Bill Clinton. Bill 
Clinton, a small-town boy from Arkansas who dared to dream big dreams. 
Young Bill worked hard and played by the rules. He went on to lead his 
country and build a bridge to the 21st century. Most important, Bill 
Clinton created AmeriCorps. Bill Clinton still believes in the promise 
of America, and he still believes in a place called Hope. Al Gore--
because there's a 22d amendment.''

[The videotape ended.]

    The President. Unfortunately, all these ads would be illegal under 
the Vice President's campaign finance 
proposal--[laughter]--not because they're unethical, certainly not 
because they're untrue, because they're just dumb. [Laughter]

    Of course, in America, each of us has the constitutional right to 
silly or dumb speech. I

[[Page 652]]

have certainly asserted my right here tonight. But I think we should 
take another moment to honor that essential freedom, to recognize that 
vital principle, by asking the members of the McLaughlin Group to stand. 
[Laughter]
    Let me say to all of you, I really am okay most days about not being 
President next year. And it will be nice for all of you to have someone 
else to chew on. But I have loved coming to this dinner, and I have been 
privileged to come every year but one that I have been here. I have 
enjoyed all my interactions with you, the battles, the agreements, the 
disagreements, the probing, the jabbing, even the occasional bloodshed. 
And believe it or not, I appreciate the efforts you make to bring 
Washington's world to the world beyond Washington. I know it's 
important; I know it's difficult.
    I've tried to keep you entertained, and I've tried to keep you 
involved. [Laughter] And I hope you've at least had some pretty good, 
substantive things to write about for the last 7-plus years. But for all 
you have done, and especially once a year for giving me, and indeed all 
of us, the chance to have a good laugh, I thank you very, very much.

Note: The President spoke at 9:34 p.m. in the Ballroom at the Washington 
Hilton. In his remarks, he referred to John Nolen, president, Radio and 
Television Correspondents Association, actor Leonardo DiCaprio; David 
Westin, president, ABC News; Gov. George W. Bush of Texas; Mayor Rudolph 
Giuliani of New York City; and author Patrick Buchanan.