    [Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: WILLIAM J. CLINTON (2000, Book I)]
    [April 6, 2000]
    [Pages 650-652]
    [From the U.S. Government Publishing Office www.gpo.gov]

    [[Page 650]]

    Remarks at the Radio and Television Correspondents Association Dinner
    April 6, 2000

    [Prior to the President's remarks, music from the movie ``Titanic'' was
    played.]

        The President. Haunting, isn't it? [Laughter] You know, usually, I
    go for ``Hail To The Chief''--[laughter]--but this week I can't seem to
    get that song out of my head. [Laughter]
        Good evening, President Nolen, Senator
    McCain, Members of Congress, members of the
    Radio and Television Correspondents Association, distinguished
    journalists, Mr. DiCaprio. [Laughter]
        Now, ABC doesn't know whether Leo and
    I had an interview, a walk-through, or a drive-by. [Laughter] But I
    don't know if all their damage control is worth the effort. I mean, it's
    a little bit like rearranging the deck chairs on the set of ``This Week
    With Sam and Cokie.'' [Laughter] Don't you newspeople ever learn? It
    isn't the mistake that kills you. It's the coverup. [Laughter]
        Now, look, I want to say right now, I have nothing against ABC. I
    like ABC just as much as I like all the other networks. [Laughter] Just
    the other day, for example, Diane Sawyer came
    to the White House for an interview. Actually, she called it a visit.
    [Laughter] And everything was fine until she asked me to do some crayon
    pictures in the Oval Office. [Laughter] That was weird.
        But I just want to say this to David Westin. You know, I've been in a lot of tough spots. Don't let
    this get you down. [Laughter] You may not be America's news leader, but
    you're ``King of the World.'' [Laughter]
        Wait a minute, before I go any further, I want to welcome the really
    funny person who is here tonight, the man who impersonates me every week
    on ``Saturday Night Live,'' Mr. Darrell Hammond. And Darrell, I want you to know I used to think you
    were really funny but not so much anymore. I think it's Clinton fatigue.
    [Laughter]
        Poor Darrell, what's he going to do when
    I leave office? [Laughter] Come to think of it, what am I going to do?
    [Laughter] I know that you've heard me say I hope to join the Senate
    spouses club. But I've been thinking, I don't really want to be a member
    of the Senate spouses club. I want to be president of the Senate spouses
    club. [Laughter]
        You know what the big, hot issue on Capitol Hill is today? The
    majority party, otherwise known as the Republicans, are raising a ruckus
    about this census long form. They say these questions are too intrusive.
    Maybe it's just a matter of perspective. [Laughter] Depends on whether
    you're the asker or the answerer. [Laughter] But I'd be pretty hard-
    pressed to call these questions intrusive. You should look at the
    questionnaire those guys sent me. [Laughter] Maybe again, I don't think
    you should. [Laughter]
        You know what question really upsets the Republicans on the census
    form? Question 19: ``Are you better off today than you were at the last
    census?'' [Laughter] I mean, even a Presidential candidate has made this
    an issue. Just the other day he said he might leave his own census form
    blank. Hmmm--a blank census form? An adult literacy program? It's
    starting to add up. [Laughter] Sounds like a cry for help to me.
    [Laughter] Governor Bush even refused to
    state his date of birth, on the grounds that it happened more than 25
    years ago. [Laughter]

        But he's not the only person who's
    uptight about this long form. Let me just read you some of the questions
    that other prominent public officials refused to answer. For example,
    except for Senator McCain, the entire Republican
    caucus refused to answer this one: ``Have you recently changed your
    policy on interracial dating?'' [Laughter] ``If so, do you know for sure
    your date is not a Catholic?'' [Laughter] ``Regardless, please attach
    parental approval slip.''

        Here's the second one. ``What is the deal with your hair?''
    [Laughter] Trent Lott refused to answer that.
    [Laughter] Then again, so did Hillary.  [Laughter] Wait a minute. How about this one--I
    thought this was important--how about this one: ``Do you work and play
    well with others?'' [Laughter] Mayor Giuliani had no comment. [Laughter] There's a first time for
    everything. [Laughter]

        But look, I know the question that's on everyone's mind today, this
    custody battle involving the Gonzalez family and the United States and

    [[Page 651]]

    Cuba. And I know the new hot issue is about my difference of opinion
    with Vice President Gore. But with all
    respect, you newspeople have missed the real story here, and there is a
    real story. We have finally found the one immigrant Pat
    Buchanan wants to keep in America. [Laughter]

        Look, it's no secret, Presidents and Vice Presidents have always
    disagreed. So it's time to set the record straight on the whole range of
    issues where the Vice President and I differ. For example, in June
    he will reveal his plan to relocate the
    United Nations Headquarters in Nashville--[laughter]--a bold new idea.
    But I don't agree with it. Indeed, I'm growing more partial to New York
    every day.

        When it comes to campaign finance, we differ. In our beverage of
    choice, I drink coffee; he drinks iced tea. However, if I'd known back
    then about the iced tea defense, I'd have drunk tea, too. [Laughter]

        In the days before the Democratic Convention, Al will publicly announce another longstanding disagreement
    we've had. We've kept it under wraps for over 7 years now. It involves
    our weekly White House lunches. He strongly believes it is rude for one
    person to eat off another person's plate. [Laughter] Me, I think it's a
    sign of friendship and familiarity. [Laughter]

        On technology issues, God bless him, Al
    invented E-mail. Me, I just can't find them. [Laughter] Everybody now
    knows the Vice President prefers earth-tone; all you see me in is
    ``Primary Colors.'' [Laughter] We both share an abiding interest in
    Buddhism. [Laughter] But when I visited the Buddhists in India, it cost
    the taxpayers millions. When Al meets with Buddhists, he turns a tidy
    profit. [Laughter]

        Now, our differences notwithstanding, I am a strong supporter of the
    Vice President. But beyond that, I'm not
    going to comment. After all, I'm not running for anything. For the first
    time in more than 20 years, my name is not on the ballot. This election
    is not about me. And hey, I'm okay with that. [Laughter] Suits me just
    fine. It's all of you in the media who keep trying to drag me into this
    thing. I mean, I don't see how it involves me at all. I'm the Commander
    in Chief. I've got a lot of responsibilities. Even if I were inclined to
    impose myself, which I'm not, I wouldn't have time. Except for last
    weekend, when I did find just a few hours to produce a few campaign ads
    for Al. I'd like you to take a look at them and tell me what you think.

    [At this point, a videotape of the President was shown, in which he
    spoke as follows.]

        ``This November, Americans face the future. The stakes are high, and
    the choice is clear. One candidate has worked for 8 years with Bill
    Clinton. He's considered by Bill Clinton to be a close personal friend,
    helping make his toughest decisions, a partner in progress as Bill
    Clinton moves America forward. The other candidate has never worked a
    day with Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton hardly even knows the guy, and when
    Bill Clinton first ran for President, he voted against Bill Clinton.
    Al Gore--he's Bill Clinton's choice.
    Shouldn't he be yours?

        ``When Bill Clinton chose Al Gore as
    his running mate, the conventional wisdom called it a mistake. They said
    Gore was too much like Clinton. Too much like Clinton? Too visionary?
    Too strong? With a plan that would bring America too much prosperity,
    and the world too much peace? Bill Clinton stood up to the pundits and
    stared down the pollsters. Choosing Al Gore was one of his very best
    decisions. And doesn't that tell you a lot about Bill Clinton? Al Gore--
    too much like Clinton? Good for him; good for us.

        ``As America's greatest Vice President, Al Gore has been a voice for our values, a fighter for our
    families, more than that, a strong partner to Bill Clinton. Bill
    Clinton, a small-town boy from Arkansas who dared to dream big dreams.
    Young Bill worked hard and played by the rules. He went on to lead his
    country and build a bridge to the 21st century. Most important, Bill
    Clinton created AmeriCorps. Bill Clinton still believes in the promise
    of America, and he still believes in a place called Hope. Al Gore--
    because there's a 22d amendment.''

    [The videotape ended.]

        The President. Unfortunately, all these ads would be illegal under
    the Vice President's campaign finance
    proposal--[laughter]--not because they're unethical, certainly not
    because they're untrue, because they're just dumb. [Laughter]

        Of course, in America, each of us has the constitutional right to
    silly or dumb speech. I

    [[Page 652]]

    have certainly asserted my right here tonight. But I think we should
    take another moment to honor that essential freedom, to recognize that
    vital principle, by asking the members of the McLaughlin Group to stand.
    [Laughter]
        Let me say to all of you, I really am okay most days about not being
    President next year. And it will be nice for all of you to have someone
    else to chew on. But I have loved coming to this dinner, and I have been
    privileged to come every year but one that I have been here. I have
    enjoyed all my interactions with you, the battles, the agreements, the
    disagreements, the probing, the jabbing, even the occasional bloodshed.
    And believe it or not, I appreciate the efforts you make to bring
    Washington's world to the world beyond Washington. I know it's
    important; I know it's difficult.
        I've tried to keep you entertained, and I've tried to keep you
    involved. [Laughter] And I hope you've at least had some pretty good,
    substantive things to write about for the last 7-plus years. But for all
    you have done, and especially once a year for giving me, and indeed all
    of us, the chance to have a good laugh, I thank you very, very much.

    Note: The President spoke at 9:34 p.m. in the Ballroom at the Washington
    Hilton. In his remarks, he referred to John Nolen, president, Radio and
    Television Correspondents Association, actor Leonardo DiCaprio; David
    Westin, president, ABC News; Gov. George W. Bush of Texas; Mayor Rudolph
    Giuliani of New York City; and author Patrick Buchanan.