    [Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: William J. Clinton (1998, Book I)]
    [April 25, 1998]
    [Pages 620-622]
    [From the U.S. Government Publishing Office www.gpo.gov]

    [[Page 620]]

    Remarks at the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner
    April 25, 1998

        Thank you very much. Thank you, Mr. McQuillan, Mr. Powell. Good evening,
    ladies and gentlemen.
        As you know, I have been traveling to other lands quite a lot
    lately, and I just want to say what a pleasure it is for Hillary and me
    to be here in your country. [Laughter] Since I arrived here--
    [laughter]--I've been awestruck by the beauty of your landscape, the
    spirit of your people, the color of your native garb. [Laughter]
        Now, the crowds who greet me here are not quite as adoring as in
    other nations I've visited lately--[laughter]--but they seem
    occasionally friendly, nonetheless. I've even sampled some of your
    indigenous cuisine, your hamburgers--quite tasty, sort of a meat
    sandwich. [Laughter]
        It appears that democracy is thriving here. There are regular
    elections, contested with vigor, honored by some--[laughter]. In the
    legislature, persistent coup attempts so far have failed to upend the
    balance of power. [Laughter] You have a lively, independent press,
    confident in its judgment and bold in its predictions. [Laughter] And
    persistent, I might add. Yes, this Washington is a very special place,
    and Hillary and I will never forget our visit here. [Laughter]
        Now, as I have come to do on these tours, I want to take just a few
    moments to reflect on our shared history. The past decades, indeed
    centuries, are filled with regrettable incidents. Mistakes were made.
    [Laughter] Injustices were committed. And certainly the passive tense
    was used too much. [Laughter]
        Ladies and gentlemen, I regret so much--I regret our long neglect of
    the planet Pluto. [Laughter] It took until 1930--1930--to welcome Pluto
    into the community of planets, and that was wrong. [Laughter] And I am
    so sorry about disco. [Laughter] That whole era of leisure suits and
    beanbag chairs and lava lamps--I mean, we all had to endure the
    cheesiness of the seventies, and that was wrong. [Laughter]
        Then there's the Susan B. Anthony dollar. [Laughter] It did look too
    much like a quarter. And that was wrong. [Laughter] The expression
    ``happy campers''--oh, it was cute the first couple of times, but it got
    real old real fast. [Laughter] I recently used it at a Cabinet meeting,
    and that was wrong. [Laughter] Pineapple on pizza--some things are just
    wrong. [Laughter]
        I'd also, in this moment of cleansing, like to take just a moment to
    reflect on past treatment of the White House press corps. I apologize
    for the quality of the free food you've been served over the years.
    [Laughter] At the price, you deserved better. It was wrong. [Laughter]
    For many years when the space that is now the briefing room in the White
    House was a swimming pool, reporters had to tread water for hours on
    end. [Laughter] And that was wrong--sort of. [Laughter]
        And I'd really like to apologize for all the information you've had
    to attribute to anonymous sources over the years. Of course, that
    apology has to be off the record, and for that I am truly sorry.
    [Laughter] But now that we have put the issues of the past behind us, I
    really would like to thank you for inviting me to tonight's dinner. This
    is the night I get to poke fun at you. That is my definition of
    executive privilege. [Laughter]
        Now, I'm at a little bit of a disadvantage this year. I've been so
    busy I haven't read a newspaper or a magazine or even watched the
    evening news since the Pope went to Cuba. [Laughter] What have you been
    writing about since then? [Laughter] I hardly have any time to read the
    news anymore. Mostly, I just skim the retractions. [Laughter] I've even
    stopped watching McCurry's briefing; I mean, he never answers a single
    question. [Laughter] I don't know how you put up with it. I've told him
    again and again and again he can answer any question he wants.
    [Laughter] What has he told you about that? [Laughter]
        Seriously, I have been looking so much forward to seeing all of you
    this weekend. I just want to know one thing: How come there's no table
    for Salon Magazine? [Laughter] That's supposed to be funny; don't take
    yourselves so seriously. [Laughter] You'll see the light. Don't worry
    about it. Loosen up. [Laughter]
        One of the things I like about this dinner is that as big as it is,
    it's a lot smaller and more intimate than the White House pundits
    dinner. [Laughter] I don't have anything against

    [[Page 621]]

    political pundits, mind you. Some of my best friends used to be
    political pundits, and some political pundits used to be my best
    friends. [Laughter]
        Really, I'm just here to warm the audience up for Ray
    Romano. I feel ambivalent about it. He's the star
    of a show called ``Everybody Loves Raymond.'' Everybody loves Raymond? I
    can't stand a guy with a 100 percent approval rating. [Laughter]
        I do want to congratulate the winners tonight, Earl Lane and Andrew Smith, Mike
    Frisby, Ron Fournier, Peter Maer. I'd like to say
    something to Mike Frisby: Now that you've won this award, I think you
    ought to slow down, work a little less, try to enjoy the finer things of
    life. [Laughter]
        And to Ron Fournier--you know, I honestly believe Ron Fournier is
    the only person who came to Washington with me from Arkansas who hasn't
    been subpoenaed. [Laughter] But the night is still young. [Laughter]
        I'm also happy to see that Peter Maer is getting an award tonight
    for his excellent work. I was worried--since he was nearly mauled by a
    cheetah on our Africa trip, you probably ought to be giving him the
    Purple Heart. Now, come on, could you write a joke about Peter Maer? A
    little laugh there. [Laughter]
        It was reported on our trip that Sam Donaldson scared away a herd of
    elephants with his distinctive voice. [Laughter] That is not fair.
    Elephants are very smart. The elephants knew Sam works for Disney; they
    thought he was trying to round them up for a new theme park. [Laughter]
        This has been an extraordinary few months for the White House press
    corps. It's no wonder you've been swarming around the White House;
    there's nothing to cover on Capitol Hill. [Laughter] Now, listen to
    this. All over, TV executives are asking, what can possibly fill the
    gaping hole on Thursday night once ``Seinfeld'' goes off the air? I've
    got it: Congress on C-SPAN. Now, there's a show about nothing.
    [Laughter] Not that there is anything wrong with that, mind you. There's
    nothing wrong with that. [Laughter]
        There are barely 40 days left in the 105th Congress as of tonight.
    This is a Congress with nothing to do and no time to do it in.
    [Laughter] But there will be one news item coming out of Capitol Hill
    next week. I met with Senator John Glenn recently to decide who should
    be the next distinguished Member of Congress hurled into the far reaches
    of the universe. [Laughter] And we have our man. Godspeed, Dick Armey.
    [Laughter]
        On Tuesday, Speaker Gingrich is holding a press conference to
    proclaim that Tony the Tiger is not selling Frosted Flakes to children.
    [Laughter] Last week he said the movie ``Titanic'' glorified smoking. I
    couldn't believe it. This week he'll accuse it of glorifying drowning.
    [Laughter] You know, this is a--it gets funnier if you think about it.
    [Laughter]
        For all of you who do not live in Washington, let me ask you to make
    some allowances for all of us tonight. This is a unique and rather
    unsettling moment in Washington. I'm not the only one who is anxiously
    awaiting the release of Steve Brill's new magazine. I have an advance
    copy here. See? It's called ``Content.'' [Laughter] Now, why would
    anyone want to call a magazine about the news media that? Oh, McCurry
    says it's called ``Content.'' Why would anyone want to call a magazine
    about the news media that? [Laughter]
        Anyway, you might be interested in what's going to be in the first
    edition. I have it here, the table of contents: Makeover tips, by John
    King. [Laughter] George Mitchell writes about the prospects of lasting
    peace between Barbara Walters and Diane Sawyer. [Laughter] ``Six Lip-
    Smacking Summertime Recipes for Harvest Burgers,'' by David Brinkley.
    [Laughter] A retrospective: CBS News, from Murrow to Molinari.
    [Laughter] ``Buddy Got What He Deserved,'' by Maureen Dowd. [Laughter]
    Here's an article called ``Waiting in the Wings,'' co-written by Al Gore
    and Brian Williams. [Laughter] I think they're both going to make it.
    Here's Lanny Davis' review of ``Spin Cycle.'' He liked it. [Laughter]
        Now, I've got to say one thing. You know, this book ``Spin Cycle,''
    it implies that this Kabuki dance between the White House and the press
    is some kind of a recent phenomenon. That's not true. It is a cherished
    part of our history. Just in preparation for tonight, I had the National
    Archives send over some yellowed transcripts to make this point. For
    example, here's some good news from the Hoover administration: Housing
    starts were up in the third quarter of 1931. [Laughter] Said a senior
    adviser to the President, ``These Hoovervilles reflect a commitment to
    private initiative instead of paternalistic big Government. The
    President is proud they bear his name.'' [Laughter]

    [[Page 622]]

        Then in 1814 a White House official disputed the idea that the
    burning of the White House was a setback for the Madison administration.
    [Laughter] ``Yes, fire did consume the mansion,'' he said, ``but it was
    in desperate need of renovation anyway--[laughter]--and this salutary
    effort by the British actually saves us time and taxpayers' money.''
    [Laughter]
        Here's one from the Jefferson administration in 1804. A spokesman
    for Vice President Aaron Burr asserted, ``People don't kill people, guns
    kill people.'' [Laughter] Way back in 1773 a spokesman for Samuel Adams
    asserted unequivocally that the Boston Tea Party was not a fundraiser.
    [Laughter] ``No one paid to attend; there was no quid pro quo,'' he
    said. ``The party was just a town meeting for colonists to get to know
    each other and discuss details of the new tax law.''
        Well, we've been at this a long time. Helen ought to know; she was
    there. [Laughter]
        Let me say one serious thing: Helen Thomas
    is not just the longest serving White House correspondent. One of the
    reasons she got that award tonight in her name is that she's still the
    hardest working, the first to show up in the Press Office every morning
    about 5 o'clock, 5 days a week, for nearly 40 years. And I dare say
    tonight is the first time she has ever been completely scooped. By my
    calculation, she's had about 10,000 mornings, thousands of notebooks,
    thousands of ballpoint pens, thousands of cups of coffee--sometimes
    brought to her by White House staffers--never has it compromised her
    yet.
        For all of us in the White House, she is a
    rock; for everyone here tonight, obviously a symbol of everything
    American journalism can and should be: the embodiment of fearless
    integrity, fierce commitment to accuracy, the insistence upon holding
    Government accountable--all of that in the spirit of the first amendment
    and the free press it protects.
        Helen, by tradition, you always get to ask
    the first question at the press conference. This has been a rather long
    opening statement, but to honor the tradition tonight you can ask me
    anything you want. But remember, in an even older tradition, I don't
    have to answer. [Laughter]
        Thank you, and good night.

    Note: The President spoke at 10:26 p.m. in the International Ballroom at
    the Washington Hilton Hotel. In his remarks, he referred to Larry
    McQuillan of Reuters, outgoing president, and Stewart Powell of Hearst
    Newspapers, incoming president, White House Correspondents' Association;
    Earl Lane and Andrew Smith of Newsday, winners of the Edgar A. Poe
    Award; Michael K. Frisby, Wall Street Journal, winner of the Aldo
    Beckman Award for 1998; Ron Fournier, Associated Press, and Peter Maer,
    NBC Radio/Mutual News, winners of the Merriman Smith Memorial Award for
    1998; Sam Donaldson, ABC News; and Helen Thomas, United Press
    International, first recipient of the association's Helen Thomas
    Lifetime Achievement Award.