[Congressional Record (Bound Edition), Volume 159 (2013), Part 9]
[Senate]
[Pages 12930-12931]
[From the U.S. Government Publishing Office, www.gpo.gov]




                      COMMENDING DAVID J. SCHIAPPA

  Mr. McCONNELL. Mr. President, this morning I wish to say a few words 
about somebody who will not be around when we get back after the 
recess. After nearly 30 years of service, Dave Schiappa is hanging up 
his cleats. Dave is not exactly a household name. I think he likes it 
that way, but there is no question to those who work here day in and 
day out that nobody is more essential to the running of this place than 
Dave. To the extent we get anything done around here, it is largely 
because of Dave. To the extent we are not getting into shouting matches 
and food fights the rest of the time, well, that is largely thanks to 
Dave too. He has been the glue and he has been the grease that keeps 
this place functioning and we are really going to miss him.
  As Secretary for the Republican majority and minority under three 
different leadership offices, Dave has been the eyes and ears on the 
floor for Republican leaders going back more than a decade. He has also 
been our chief diplomat to the other side. He has answered a million 
questions from all of us at all hours, always with the same tact, 
wicked sense of humor, and sharp mind that has made him not just an 
indispensable help to our conference but also the kind of guy we just 
like having around this place. I know I am speaking for everybody when 
I say that.
  When I announced Dave's departure to the leadership team earlier this 
week, the entire room, Senators and staff, erupted in applause. I 
assure you it was not because folks were glad to see him go. There is 
just nobody you would rather be with, in a foxhole or just killing time 
on the Senate floor, than Dave.
  Dave had a pretty illustrious career before he got the big office up 
on the third floor. Prior to joining the Senate as a cloakroom 
assistant at the tender age of 21, legend has it he did stints as a 
bartender--that was while he was in college--and as a hot dog vendor 
out on the National Mall during summers in high school. As far as I 
know, these are the only two jobs outside the Senate Dave has ever had. 
Somehow they turned out to be great preparation for this place. I am 
not exactly sure why that is, but I am sure we could all come up with 
some interesting theories about that.
  So Dave came here right out of college, back when there were no 
cameras on the floor, just a radio. His job back then was basically to 
perform the role of play-by-play announcer, telling offices what was 
happening out here on the floor, matching the voices with names, and 
just letting everybody know where things stood at all times. I wanted 
to have a poster out here with a photo of Dave from those days, but all 
the photos have mysteriously somehow disappeared. Someone suggested it 
might have something to do with the fact that Dave sported a pretty 
serious eighties mustache back then. Maybe Cheryl can dig up that good 
photo from the family collection.
  In 1994, Dave moved out of the cloakroom and onto the floor as 
Republican floor assistant. Two years after that, he was named 
Assistant Secretary for the majority and 2 weeks before 9/11, in August 
2001, Senator Lott named him Secretary for the majority. Since then, 
the two parties have swung back and forth a couple of times, but Dave 
has been one of the constants--smoothing out all the rough edges during 
a thousand legislative fights, providing indispensable strategic advice 
to me and to

[[Page 12931]]

the rest of our conference, and just generally keeping everybody on 
both sides informed of everything that is going on out here.
  It is not easy. It is not easy telling Senators they will not get an 
amendment they have been fighting for or that they have to wait. But 
Dave has always had the perfect temperament for that job.
  Nobody on Earth--nobody--knows more about Senate precedent and 
procedure than Dave Schiappa, and nobody wears their knowledge and 
skill more lightly.
  So we are going to miss him a lot. We will all miss his ``Davisms,'' 
whether he is reporting that some Senator just showed up in the 
cloakroom ``in a three-point stance'' or that the week is shaping up to 
be a ``nothing burger.'' Those are Davisms.
  He will take some secrets, hopefully, with him. It will forever 
remain a mystery, for example, how Dave stuffs all of those cards into 
his suit coat pocket. Ask Dave a question about anything and he will 
have the answer written on some card inside his coat. The secrets of 
the Senate are contained on those cards.
  They say there are no indispensable men, though many of us have long 
suspected that Dave is the exception. I guess we will soon find out.
  Dave, thanks for all you have done for all of us and for your 
devotion to the institution. I know how much the Senate means to you 
personally and we all appreciate how much you have given to it over the 
years. Some folks complain about the hours and the unpredictable 
schedule around here, but Dave has us all beat. He is not only here 
whenever we are, he is here after the lights go out, finishing up the 
business of the day, sending out e-mails, tying up loose ends or 
``loose tarps,'' as he might put it. We are all glad you will finally 
have a little predictability in your life.
  Which brings me to my last point which is almost, actually, the most 
important. Nobody who has a family can handle this place without an 
understanding spouse. So I want to thank Cheryl for putting up with 
this place over the last 23 years. Dave tells the story that early on 
in their marriage, Cheryl got Dave tickets to a show at the Kennedy 
Center for his birthday. When he called to tell her something had come 
up and he couldn't make it, she didn't know what he was talking about. 
Dave explained that he was stuck and there just wasn't anything he 
could do about it; it is just how the Senate works. It was the last 
time she questioned his job or his schedule.
  So as much as I am here to thank Dave today, I want to thank Cheryl. 
I want Cheryl to know we are grateful to her for all the sacrifices she 
has made over the years for Dave and their family.
  Ask Dave why he has been here so long and he will tell you it is the 
people, but the truth is Dave is one of the best this place has ever 
seen. I have no doubt about it.
  Dave, on behalf of the entire Senate family, thanks for everything. 
You will be missed.
  I see my friend the majority leader. Let me call up a resolution 
before his comments and then we will move on.

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