[Congressional Record (Bound Edition), Volume 154 (2008), Part 1]
[Senate]
[Pages 728-730]
[From the U.S. Government Publishing Office, www.gpo.gov]




                       HONORING OUR ARMED FORCES


                          Major Andrew Olmsted

  Mr. KENNEDY. Mr. President, on January 3, 2008, MAJ Andrew Olmsted of 
Northborough, MA, was killed in Iraq. He was the first American 
servicemember to die in Iraq this year. During his service there, he 
wrote a number of essays about his service that he posted on the 
Internet. His final essay, written in anticipation of his possible 
death, is an eloquent farewell that I believe will be of interest to 
all of us in Congress, and I ask unanimous consent that it be printed 
in the Record.
  There being no objection, the material was ordered to be printed in 
the Record, as follows:

                               Final Post

                           (January 4, 2008)

       ``I am leaving this message for you because it appears I 
     must leave sooner than I intended. I would have preferred to 
     say this in person, but since I cannot, let me say it here.''

     --G'Kar, Babylon 5.
                                  ____


       ``Only the dead have seen the end of war.''

     --Plato.
                                  ____


       This is an entry I would have preferred not to have 
     published, but there are limits to what we can control in 
     life, and apparently I have passed one of those limits. And 
     so, like G'Kar, I must say here what I would much prefer to 
     say in person. I want to thank Hilzoy for putting it up for 
     me. It's not easy asking anyone to do something for you in 
     the event of your death, and it is a testament to her quality 
     that she didn't hesitate to accept the charge. As with many 
     bloggers, I have a disgustingly large ego, and so I just 
     couldn't bear the thought of not being able to have the last 
     word if the need arose. Perhaps I take that further than 
     most, I don't know. I hope so. It's frightening to think 
     there are many people as neurotic as I am in the world. In 
     any case, since I won't get another chance to say what I 
     think, I wanted to take advantage of this opportunity. Such 
     as it is.
       ``When some people die, it's time to be sad. But when other 
     people die, like really evil people, or the Irish, it's time 
     to celebrate.''

     --Jimmy Bender, ``Greg the Bunny.''
                                  ____


       ``And maybe now it's your turn to die kicking some ass.''

     --Freedom Isn't Free, Team America.
                                  ____


       What I don't want this to be is a chance for me, or anyone 
     else, to be maudlin. I'm dead. That sucks, at least for me 
     and my family and friends. But all the tears in the world 
     aren't going to bring me back, so I would prefer that people 
     remember the good things about me rather than mourning my 
     loss. (If it turns out a specific number of tears will, in 
     fact, bring me back to life, then by all means, break out the 
     onions.) I had a pretty good life, as I noted above. Sure, 
     all things being equal I would have preferred to have more 
     time, but I have no business complaining with all the good 
     fortune I've enjoyed in my life. So if you're up for that, 
     put on a little 80s music (preferably vintage 1980-1984), 
     grab a Coke and have a drink with me. If you have it, throw 
     `Freedom Isn't Free' from the Team America soundtrack in; if 
     you can't laugh at that song, I think you need to lighten up 
     a little. I'm dead, but if you're reading this, you're not, 
     so take a moment to enjoy that happy fact.
       ``Our thoughts form the universe. They always matter.''

                                       --Citizen G'Kar, Babylon 5.

[[Page 729]]

     
                                  ____
       Believe it or not, one of the things I will miss most is 
     not being able to blog any longer. The ability to put my 
     thoughts on (virtual) paper and put them where people can 
     read and respond to them has been marvelous, even if most 
     people who have read my writings haven't agreed with them. If 
     there is any hope for the long term success of democracy, it 
     will be if people agree to listen to and try to understand 
     their political opponents rather than simply seeking to crush 
     them. While the blogosphere has its share of partisans, there 
     are some awfully smart people making excellent arguments out 
     there as well, and I know I have learned quite a bit since I 
     began blogging. I flatter myself I may have made a good 
     argument or two as well; if I didn't, please don't tell me. 
     It has been a great five-plus years. I got to meet a lot of 
     people who are way smarter than me, including such luminaries 
     as Virginia Postrel and her husband Stephen (speaking 
     strictly from an `improving the species' perspective, it's 
     tragic those two don't have kids, because they're both scary 
     smart.), the estimable Hilzoy and Sebastian of Obsidian 
     Wings, Jeff Goldstein and Stephen Green, the men who 
     consistently frustrated me with their mix of wit and wisdom I 
     could never match, and I've no doubt left out a number of 
     people to whom I apologize. Bottom line: if I got the chance 
     to meet you through blogging, I enjoyed it. I'm only sorry I 
     couldn't meet more of you. In particular I'd like to thank 
     Jim Henley, who while we've never met has been a true 
     comrade, whose words have taught me and whose support has 
     been of great personal value to me. I would very much have 
     enjoyed meeting Jim.
       Blogging put me in touch with an inordinate number of smart 
     people, an exhilarating if humbling experience. When I was 
     young, I was smart, but the older I got, the more I realized 
     just how dumb I was in comparison to truly smart people. But, 
     to my credit, I think, I was at least smart enough to pay 
     attention to the people with real brains and even 
     occasionally learn something from them. It has been joy and a 
     pleasure having the opportunity to do this.
       ``It's not fair.''
       ``No. It's not. Death never is.''

     --Captain John Sheridan and Dr. Stephen Franklin, Babylon 5.
                                  ____


       ``They didn't even dig him a decent grave.''
       ``Well, it's not how you're buried. It's how you're 
     remembered.''

     --Cimarron and Wil Andersen, The Cowboys.
                                  ____


       I suppose I should speak to the circumstances of my death. 
     It would be nice to believe that I died leading men in 
     battle, preferably saving their lives at the cost of my own. 
     More likely I was caught by a marksman or an IED. But if 
     there is an afterlife, I'm telling anyone who asks that I 
     went down surrounded by hundreds of insurgents defending a 
     village composed solely of innocent women and children. It'll 
     be our little secret, ok?
       I do ask (not that I'm in a position to enforce this) that 
     no one try to use my death to further their political 
     purposes. I went to Iraq and did what I did for my reasons, 
     not yours. My life isn't a chit to be used to bludgeon people 
     to silence on either side. If you think the U.S. should stay 
     in Iraq, don't drag me into it by claiming that somehow my 
     death demands us staying in Iraq. If you think the U.S. ought 
     to get out tomorrow, don't cite my name as an example of 
     someone's life who was wasted by our mission in Iraq. I have 
     my own opinions about what we should do about Iraq, but since 
     I'm not around to expound on them I'd prefer others not try 
     and use me as some kind of moral capital to support a 
     position I probably didn't support. Further, this is tough 
     enough on my family without their having to see my picture 
     being used in some rally or my name being cited for some 
     political purpose. You can fight political battles without 
     hurting my family, and I'd prefer that you did so.
       On a similar note, while you're free to think whatever you 
     like about my life and death, if you think I wasted my life, 
     I'll tell you you're wrong. We're all going to die of 
     something. I died doing a job I loved. When your time comes, 
     I hope you are as fortunate as I was.
       ``What an idiot! What a loser!''

     --Chaz Reingold, Wedding Crashers.
                                  ____


       ``Oh and I don't want to die for you, but if dying's asked 
     of me;
       I'll bear that cross with honor, 'cause freedom don't come 
     free.''

     --American Soldier, Toby Keith.
                                  ____


       Those who know me through my writings on the Internet over 
     the past five-plus years probably have wondered at times 
     about my chosen profession. While I am not a Libertarian, I 
     certainly hold strongly individualistic beliefs. Yet I have 
     spent my life in a profession that is not generally known for 
     rugged individualism. Worse, I volunteered to return to 
     active duty knowing that the choice would almost certainly 
     lead me to Iraq. The simple explanation might be that I was 
     simply stupid, and certainly I make no bones about having 
     done some dumb things in my life, but I don't think this can 
     be chalked up to stupidity. Maybe I was inconsistent in my 
     beliefs; there are few people who adhere religiously to the 
     doctrines of their chosen philosophy, whatever that may be. 
     But I don't think that was the case in this instance either.
       As passionate as I am about personal freedom, I don't buy 
     the claims of anarchists that humanity would be just fine 
     without any government at all. There are too many people in 
     the world who believe that they know best how people should 
     live their lives, and many of them are more than willing to 
     use force to impose those beliefs on others. A world without 
     government simply wouldn't last very long; as soon as it was 
     established, strongmen would immediately spring up to 
     establish their fiefdoms. So there is a need for government 
     to protect the people's rights. And one of the fundamental 
     tools to do that is an army that can prevent outside agencies 
     from imposing their rules on a society. A lot of people will 
     protest that argument by noting that the people we are 
     fighting in Iraq are unlikely to threaten the rights of the 
     average American. That's certainly true; while our enemies 
     would certainly like to wreak great levels of havoc on our 
     society, the fact is they're not likely to succeed. But that 
     doesn't mean there isn't still a need for an army (setting 
     aside debates regarding whether ours is the right size at the 
     moment). Americans are fortunate that we don't have to worry 
     too much about people coming to try and overthrow us, but 
     part of the reason we don't have to worry about that is 
     because we have an army that is stopping anyone who would 
     try.
       Soldiers cannot have the option of opting out of missions 
     because they don't agree with them: that violates the social 
     contract. The duly-elected American government decided to go 
     to war in Iraq. (Even if you maintain President Bush was not 
     properly elected, Congress voted for war as well.) As a 
     soldier, I have a duty to obey the orders of the President of 
     the United States as long as they are Constitutional. I can 
     no more opt out of missions I disagree with than I can ignore 
     laws I think are improper. I do not consider it a violation 
     of my individual rights to have gone to Iraq on orders 
     because I raised my right hand and volunteered to join the 
     army. Whether or not this mission was a good one, my 
     participation in it was an affirmation of something I 
     consider quite necessary to society. So if nothing else, I 
     gave my life for a pretty important principle; I can (if 
     you'll pardon the pun) live with that.
       ``It's all so brief, isn't it? A typical human lifespan is 
     almost a hundred years. But it's barely a second compared to 
     what's out there. It wouldn't be so bad if life didn't take 
     so long to figure out. Seems you just start to get it right, 
     and then . . . it's over.''

     --Dr. Stephen Franklin, Babylon 5.
                                  ____


       I wish I could say I'd at least started to get it right. 
     Although, in my defense, I think I batted a solid .250 or so. 
     Not a superstar, but at least able to play in the big 
     leagues. I'm afraid I can't really offer any deep secrets or 
     wisdom. I lived my life better than some, worse than others, 
     and I like to think that the world was a little better off 
     for my having been here. Not very much, but then, few of us 
     are destined to make more than a tiny dent in history's Green 
     Monster. I would be lying if I didn't admit I would have 
     liked to have done more, but it's a bit too late for that 
     now, eh? The bottom line, for me, is that I think I can look 
     back at my life and at least see a few areas where I may have 
     made a tiny difference, and massive ego aside, that's 
     probably not too bad.
       ``The flame also reminds us that life is precious. As each 
     flame is unique; when it goes out, it's gone forever. There 
     will never be another quite like it.''

     --Ambassador Delenn, Babylon 5.
                                  ____


       I write this in part, admittedly, because I would like to 
     think that there's at least a little something out there to 
     remember me by. Granted, this site will eventually vanish, 
     being ephemeral in a very real sense of the word, but at 
     least for a time it can serve as a tiny record of my 
     contributions to the world. But on a larger scale, for those 
     who knew me well enough to be saddened by my death, 
     especially for those who haven't known anyone else lost to 
     this war, perhaps my death can serve as a small reminder of 
     the costs of war. Regardless of the merits of this war, or of 
     any war, I think that many of us in America have forgotten 
     that war means death and suffering in wholesale lots. A 
     decision that for most of us in America was academic, whether 
     or not to go to war in Iraq, had very real consequences for 
     hundreds of thousands of people. Yet I was as guilty as 
     anyone of minimizing those very real consequences in lieu of 
     a cold discussion of theoretical merits of war and peace. Now 
     I'm facing some very real consequences of that decision; who 
     says life doesn't have a sense of humor?
       But for those who knew me and feel this pain, I think it's 
     a good thing to realize that this pain has been felt by 
     thousands and thousands (probably millions, actually) of 
     other people all over the world. That is part of the cost of 
     war, any war, no matter how justified. If everyone who feels 
     this pain keeps that in mind the next time we have to decide 
     whether or not war is a good idea, perhaps it will help us to 
     make a more informed

[[Page 730]]

     decision. Because it is pretty clear that the average 
     American would not have supported the Iraq War had they known 
     the costs going in. I am far too cynical to believe that any 
     future debate over war will be any less vitriolic or 
     emotional, but perhaps a few more people will realize just 
     what those costs can be the next time.
       This may be a contradiction of my above call to keep 
     politics out of my death, but I hope not. Sometimes going to 
     war is the right idea. I think we've drawn that line too far 
     in the direction of war rather than peace, but I'm a soldier 
     and I know that sometimes you have to fight if you're to hold 
     onto what you hold dear. But in making that decision, I 
     believe we understate the costs of war; when we make the 
     decision to fight, we make the decision to kill, and that 
     means lives and families destroyed. Mine now falls into that 
     category; the next time the question of war or peace comes 
     up, if you knew me at least you can understand a bit more 
     just what it is you're deciding to do, and whether or not 
     those costs are worth it.
       ``This is true love. You think this happens every day?''

     --Westley, The Princess Bride.
                                  ____


       ``Good night, my love, the brightest star in my sky.''

     --John Sheridan, Babylon 5.
                                  ____


       This is the hardest part. While I certainly have no desire 
     to die, at this point I no longer have any worries. That is 
     not true of the woman who made my life something to enjoy 
     rather than something merely to survive. She put up with all 
     of my faults, and they are myriad, she endured separations 
     again and again . . . I cannot imagine being more fortunate 
     in love than I have been with Amanda. Now she has to go on 
     without me, and while a cynic might observe she's better off, 
     I know that this is a terrible burden I have placed on her, 
     and I would give almost anything if she would not have to 
     bear it. It seems that is not an option. I cannot imagine 
     anything more painful than that, and if there is an 
     afterlife, this is a pain I'll bear forever.
       I wasn't the greatest husband. I could have done so much 
     more, a realization that, as it so often does, comes too late 
     to matter. But I cherished every day I was married to Amanda. 
     When everything else in my life seemed dark, she was always 
     there to light the darkness. It is difficult to imagine my 
     life being worth living without her having been in it. I hope 
     and pray that she goes on without me and enjoys her life as 
     much as she deserves. I can think of no one more deserving of 
     happiness than her.
       ``I will see you again, in the place where no shadows 
     fall.''

     --Ambassador Delenn, Babylon 5.
                                  ____


       I don't know if there is an afterlife; I tend to doubt it, 
     to be perfectly honest. But if there is any way possible, 
     Amanda, then I will live up to Delenn's words, somehow, some 
     way. I love you.

                          ____________________