[Congressional Record (Bound Edition), Volume 145 (1999), Part 6]
[Extensions of Remarks]
[Pages 8677-8678]
[From the U.S. Government Publishing Office, www.gpo.gov]




                 CAN PARENTS UTTER HARDEST WORD OF ALL?

                                 ______
                                 

                            HON. ROB PORTMAN

                                of ohio

                    in the house of representatives

                         Wednesday, May 5, 1999

  Mr. PORTMAN. Mr. Speaker, the recent shootings at Columbine High 
School in Littleton, CO, have shocked the entire Nation.
  As a legislator and as a parent of three young children, I am 
concerned about the overall environment in which today's kids are being 
raised. Today's fast-paced world of the Internet, video games, and 
increasingly violent pop culture bears little resemblance to the 
America in which so many parents from my generation were raised. The 
increase of the incidences and ferocity of school violence are a cause 
for deep concern--and a call to action.
  During the coming weeks and months, here in the Halls of Congress--
and in school board meeting rooms, city council chambers, and in state 
legislatures around the country--our Nation will discuss what we can do 
to prevent another tragedy like Littleton. Some of the ideas we will 
discuss will be helpful and should be adopted. Other proposals will 
make us feel as through we're doing something, but will do nothing to 
prevent the root causes of school violence.
  Throughout this national dialog, I hope we do not overlook the one 
obvious and essential ingredient to preventing these senseless acts of 
violence. There is nothing more powerful than an active, concerned, and 
caring parent. I've seen it personally in my work on the problem of 
reducing teenage substance abuse and have read it in countless studies 
on reshaping adolescent behavior.
  Mr. Speaker, I would like to enter a thoughtful and insightful piece 
by author and columnist Laura Pulfer from yesterday's Cincinnati 
Enquirer into the Congressional Record which addresses the urgent need 
for new parenting.

              [From the Cincinnati Enquirer, May 4, 1999]

                 Can Parents Utter Hardest Word of All?

                           (By Laura Pulfer)

       Some hard things must be said if we are to be honest about 
     this thing that happened in Littleton. If we are to learn 
     anything, if we are to let it be important.
       The first thing is that the young men who killed the 
     children at the high school do not belong among the victims' 
     names--even if the in-crowd made their lives a living hell. 
     At the memorial site near Columbine High School, an Illinois 
     carpenter erected a set of 8-foot-high wooden crosses, 15 of 
     them, including two memorializing the killers.


                            Feeling guilty?

       An angry father of one of the victims took down the crosses 
     for Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris, saying it wasn't 
     appropriate to honor the shooters in the same spot. Well, of 
     course not. What the killers did at this high school is 
     monstrous. We might forgive then, but we will not award them 
     martyrdom.
       And however, nervous--however guilty--we suburban people of 
     means are prepared to be about our skills as parents, about 
     our two-paycheck homes, we can say so aloud. Monstrous. The 
     murderers took guns of incredible destruction--weapons built 
     to perform exactly as they did--and moved from classmate to 
     classmate, blowing them away, surely with bits of bone and 
     brain and blood clinging to their celebrated black trench 
     coats.
       This is something evil. And we need to say so. This is not 
     the time to be our famously flexible selves with our flexible 
     time, flexible mortgages, flexible morals.
       Right and wrong. Good and bad. Yes and no.
       We can say these words, especially to our children. In 
     fact, it is our duty. There is a

[[Page 8678]]

     reason human offspring are sent home from the hospital with a 
     couple of parents instead of a Visa card and the keys to an 
     apartment. They are unformed. And uninformed. We're supposed 
     to fill them in.


                              Keeping tabs

       They don't need us to be their buddies. They have younger, 
     cooler people willing to do that. They need snoopy, pushy, 
     loving, know-it-all parents.
       A study presented Monday to the Pediatric Academic 
     Societies convention reports that children of parents who 
     keep close tabs on them are less likely to get in trouble. Do 
     you suspect our parents already knew this? You know, the 
     generation who set curfews, made us work for our spending 
     money, made us answer a lot of annoying questions before they 
     would allow us out of the house, nagged us about our hair and 
     clothes.
       Dr. Susan Feigelman, a University of Maryland researcher 
     who led the study, advised parents to check up on their 
     children's friends. This is a shocking notion for many 
     enlightened former flower children.
       Researchers surveyed children ages 9-15 over a four-year 
     period. The group was asked whether their parents knew where 
     they were after school, whether they were expected to call 
     and say where they were going and with whom, whether their 
     parents knew where they were at night.
       Children monitored by their parents were less likely to 
     sell drugs or use them. They were less likely to drink 
     alcohol or have unprotected sex. Dr. Feigelman said the study 
     showed that peer groups became more influential as children 
     get older.
       Probably peer groups and everything else. So it only makes 
     sense for parents to monitor that, too. That's not 
     repressive. That's not illegal. That is our job.
       If a Marilyn Manson concert is unsuitable for viewing now, 
     why not next month? If a gun show is inappropriate in the 
     wake of the terrible crime committed with them in Littleton, 
     why not forever? If a violent television show is too graphic 
     today, how about tomorrow?
       And when it becomes apparent that children are tormenting 
     each other, adults need to intervene. Stop it. Even if the 
     tormentors are popular athletes.
       We have to start saying some hard things. To each other. 
     But especially to our children.
       Beginning with ``no.''

       

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