[Congressional Record Volume 164, Number 122 (Thursday, July 19, 2018)]
[Extensions of Remarks]
[Page E1038]
From the Congressional Record Online through the Government Publishing Office [www.gpo.gov]





                       EULOGY FOR MARY ELLEN SHEA

                                 ______
                                 

                          HON. JOHN B. LARSON

                             of connecticut

                    in the house of representatives

                        Thursday, July 19, 2018

  Mr. LARSON of Connecticut. Mr. Speaker, I had the privilege and honor 
of working with Mary Ellen Shea over the years. She was an 
extraordinary woman, loved by all at the Connecticut State Capitol. I 
include in the Record this obituary, written by her daughter, Mary 
Frances Shea.

        My mom loved my dad. And he loved her.
        But before that she was born in 1932 in Hartford, to a 
     single young mother. It was a bit unconventional for the 
     times . . . but with the help of her grandfather she found, 
     in her school and friends, something she was good at. She 
     used her ample personality, unique style and insightful 
     vision to draw people to her and with these gifts and she 
     gave her life some structure.
        She loved the friends she would gather throughout her high 
     school and college years. She was drawn to people with fun, 
     outgoing and stable lives.
        She was nothing if not practical, easy to entertain and 
     driven to make something happen. It was in this atmosphere 
     that she met my dad, Bob. She was even-handed and spirited. 
     He was a planner and a ``don't sweat the small stuff'' guy. 
     He really made her laugh . . . always. Even this week in the 
     hospital. He was always going for the laugh with her and he 
     got it . . . often. Her laugh and ``Oh Bob'' was a constant 
     in their home and our lives.
       First they were a good team.
        And then team leaders.
       There are 5 of us. The starting 5.
        Tom is smart like her. She was captured by Tommy. As a 
     little boy he charmed her, he made her think. She was always 
     listening for that thing he was going to say that was smarter 
     and funnier and really sly. He is clever enough to savagely 
     mimic her and get away with it while she laughed and laughed. 
     She lit up when Tommy came into the room. None of the rest of 
     us had that. He was the first and that was something.
        When I was 6 she took me out to the back yard where we had 
     a huge lilac bush. She cut a big bunch of them and I can 
     smell the sumptuous smell right now. You can too. She wrapped 
     them in wet paper towels and put a string around them. She 
     gave them to me to bring to my teacher for the last day. Many 
     of you know my mom spent years as a teacher.
        She told me to say ``thank you for teaching me''.
        I love that memory because it comes with an aroma. It is 
     the aroma of love and gratitude. What a lesson.
        Tim is her middle child. He is so much like her in that he 
     takes care to make sure that everything is running smoothly, 
     that everyone is okay, that the trains are running on time. 
     He is a planner and, he, too is practical. He is the perfect 
     combination of my dad and my mom. The middle. She counted on 
     him. She felt great pride in his success as a family man. She 
     loved his wife, Laura. She was awestruck and amazed by his 
     charity and his kindness. She told me that, so I am telling 
     all of you.
        My sister was the great joy in my mom's life. She had the 
     home team family. As we all struggled with the distance, Mary 
     Liz shared her kids and family life joyously. They spent time 
     in each other's lives, holidays and average days. My sis and 
     my mother had a short hand, like there was always an inside 
     joke. They were close in a way that supersedes deep 
     conversation, it was more about silliness, respect and ever a 
     sense of fun that would find them at the garage sale or the 
     UConn Women's game or just sitting down at dinner. My mom 
     sincerely loves all of her children and grandchildren but it 
     is unmistakable that Liz, David and their kids had more of my 
     mom's fingerprint on them. It's true.
        My mother had 5 and her last is John. John got away with 
     everything and never had to do anything but look at her, to 
     make her smile. She gave John a pass, loved absolutely 
     everything he did and said, especially when he married Lisa. 
     The rest of us would make note of the fact that John had 
     different parents. He got the mom who was relaxed and chill, 
     the one who let things slide just a little more. And John 
     knew how to capitalize on his good fortune. The rest of us 
     had parents, he had bud's. She loved her baby. Yes I said it. 
     That's what he was to her.
        If we all did anything perfectly, in my mom's eyes, it was 
     to bring our children to Black Point Beach for the summer. It 
     was there that their 8 grandchildren were drawn, like magnets 
     to 31 Seabreeze where they would eat horribly sweet cereal--
     and watch Bananas in Pajamas videos--and be read to by 
     Grandma. If you ask them, this was a unique and special bliss 
     that they will forever share with only each other. That's how 
     you make memories and families. She knew the special recipe. 
     She has 8 grandchildren, all here, together with her new 
     great granddaughter who is currently stealing the show. She 
     loved her grandkids . . . each one uniquely and now from 
     afar.
        A few other things to note about my mom . . .
        As I mentioned, my mom was a teacher but in the mid-70's 
     she got an opportunity to take a small job at the State 
     Capital in the House Clerk's Office with a couple of her high 
     school chums. She loved the characters and the drama of the 
     daily policy making. She was good at it. She eventually 
     worked for the then, Speaker of the House. He's here today 
     Tom Ritter. She loved you, Tom. And she loved Shelley, too! 
     If you knew her then, you knew how much she loved it there. 
     Those Capital days . . . they were a very, very special time 
     in her life.
        In her 50's she found out about her birth father, 
     discovered he had had 6 kids, who when she met, embraced her. 
     That was fun for her.
        My mom chose her friends carefully. As you all know, you 
     who are lucky enough to have known her as a best friend (Ann, 
     Sally, Maureen and MaryBeth) and others out there,
        She was a great listener and in that way, she gave good, 
     practical advice. Here's the formula. Listen, for a very long 
     time. Consider carefully, and then, quietly, say something 
     practical. There it is.
        I can almost do it all myself, now. Try it for yourself.
        If you were her friend, or her acquaintance her neighbor, 
     congratulations. She was so lovely. You won.
        My mom had a fulfilling and wonderful life.
        Such a long and winding road of a life.
        It's best to share twists and turns with somebody . . . 
     and share she did. She often said that she was so lucky to 
     have found and married my dad. She always said it. Remember 
     how much I stressed fun and stability? Well, that is Bob 
     Shea. I can attest that this is a great combination of 
     strengths when conjuring a father, but as a husband it was 
     the winning formula, for sure.
        I'm going to sum up their marriage and it's going to sound 
     simple but it is not, at all. Bob and Mary Ellen were nice to 
     each other, They talked about everything. They were, without 
     reservation, about family . . . and friends . . .
        My mom loved my dad and he loved her.

                          ____________________