[Congressional Record Volume 159, Number 147 (Wednesday, October 16, 2013)]
[Extensions of Remarks]
[Page E1530]
From the Congressional Record Online through the Government Publishing Office [www.gpo.gov]




                          GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN

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                           HON. STEVE ISRAEL

                              of new york

                    in the house of representatives

                      Wednesday, October 16, 2013

  Mr. ISRAEL. Mr. Speaker, I rise today on the sixteenth day of the 
federal government shutdown to submit for the record a satire sent to 
me by my constituent, Donna Rusinski of Huntington New York. Donna's 
satire perfectly portrays the current state of affairs in our nation's 
capital and I am pleased I can share her short story with you today.

       So, imagine that the company you work for held a poll, and 
     asked everyone if they thought it would be a good idea to put 
     a soda machine in the break room. The poll came back, and the 
     majority of your colleagues said ``Yes,'' indicating that 
     they would like a soda machine. Some said no, but the 
     majority said yes. So, a week later, there's a soda machine.
       Now imagine that Bill in accounting voted against the soda 
     machine. He has a strong hatred for caffeinated soft drinks, 
     thinks they are bad for you, whatever. He campaigns 
     throughout the office to get the machine removed.
       Well, management decides ``OK, we'll ask again'' and again, 
     the majority of people say ``Yes, let's keep the soda 
     machine.''
       Bill continues to campaign, and management continues to ask 
     the employees, and every time, the answer is in favor of the 
     soda machine. This happens, let's say 35 times. Eventually, 
     Bill says ``OK, I'm not processing payroll anymore until the 
     soday machine is removed,'' so nobody will get paid unless 
     management removes the machine.
       What should we do?
       Answer: Fire Bill and get someone who will do the darn job.
       Bonus: Bill tells everyone that he was willing to 
     ``Negotiate,'' to come to a solution where everyone got their 
     payroll checks, but only so long as that negotiation 
     capitulated to his demand to remove the soda machine.
       Bill is a dope.

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