[Congressional Record Volume 155, Number 44 (Thursday, March 12, 2009)]
[Extensions of Remarks]
[Page E664]
From the Congressional Record Online through the Government Publishing Office [www.gpo.gov]


                       THE DEATH OF COMMON SENSE

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                        HON. JOHN J. DUNCAN, JR.

                              of tennessee

                    in the house of representatives

                        Thursday, March 12, 2009

  Mr. DUNCAN. Madam Speaker, John A. Smaldone of Maryville, Tennessee 
reads constantly and follows current events more closely than almost 
anyone.
  He recently sent a letter to the editor of the Maryville-Alcoa Daily 
Times about the death of common sense.
  I agree with this letter and would like to call it to the attention 
of my colleagues and other readers of the Record.

                 [From the Daily Times, Feb. 27, 2009]

                       Common Sense Long Deceased

                         (By John A. Smaldone)

       Dear Editor: Today I am sad to announce that we mourn the 
     passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense. Common sense 
     has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how 
     old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in 
     bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having 
     cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in 
     out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't 
     always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
       Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies 
     (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies 
     (adults, not children, are in charge).
       His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-
     intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. 
     Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment 
     for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for 
     using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for 
     reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
       Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for 
     doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in 
     disciplining their unruly children.
       It declined even further when schools were required to get 
     parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a 
     student; but could not inform parents when a student became 
     pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
       Common Sense lost the will to live, as the churches became 
     businesses; and criminals received better treatment than 
     their victims.
       Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend 
     yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar 
     could sue you for assault.
       Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman 
     failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She 
     spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge 
     settlement.
       Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth 
     and Trust; by his wife, Discretion; by his daughter, 
     Responsibility; and by his son, Reason.
       His four stepbrothers survive him;
       I Know My Rights.
       I Want It Now.
       Someone Else Is To Blame.
       I'm A Victim.
       Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he 
     was gone.

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