[Congressional Record Volume 151, Number 44 (Thursday, April 14, 2005)]
[House]
[Page H1974]
From the Congressional Record Online through the Government Publishing Office [www.gpo.gov]


                        THE WASHINGTON LOBBYISTS

  (Mr. BROWN of Ohio asked and was given permission to address the 
House for 1 minute.)
  Mr. BROWN of Ohio. Mr. Speaker, today is an important day. It is 
opening day for the Washington Nationals. Baseball is back in 
Washington. But we ought to come up with a better name than the 
Washington Nationals, a name that really fits this city.
  The new baseball team should be called the Washington Lobbyists. 
After all, who runs this town? The energy lobbyists that wrote the 
energy bill last night in committee, the bank lobbyists who wrote the 
bankruptcy bill today, the pharmaceutical lobbyists who write the 
medicare legislation, the Wall Street lobbyists who write the Social 
Security privacy legislation, and they and their Republican allies in 
Congress play under different rules. ``It ain't over 'til it's over,'' 
unless we are losing.
  At home games, the Washington Lobbyists could hold the game open, 
adding extra innings if they are losing at the end of the arbitrary 
nine. Instead of the oh-so-boring ball day and bat day, we could have 
Halliburton Gasoline Night: a tank of gas for the first thousand fans 
at the Halliburton patriotic price of $8.95 a gallon. Or, we could have 
the Enron Double Header: fans get in early with promises of a big win, 
but then the team kicks you out and takes your pension away. Or, we 
could have Wal-Mart Kids Day: kids do not actually get to watch the 
game. Somebody has actually got to work the concession stand, after 
all.
  Mr. Speaker, if we want to change how things work in Washington, we 
need a new pitching staff, and the Washington Lobbyists have to go.

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