[Congressional Record Volume 145, Number 87 (Friday, June 18, 1999)]
[Extensions of Remarks]
[Pages E1342-E1343]
From the Congressional Record Online through the Government Publishing Office [www.gpo.gov]




                            PARENTING IS KEY

                                 ______
                                 

                          HON. SPENCER BACHUS

                               of alabama

                    in the house of representatives

                         Friday, June 18, 1999

  Mr. BACHUS. Mr. Speaker, recently the Birmingham News published an 
article by three faculty members from the University of Alabama at 
Birmingham. This article, written by Bill Crunk, associate professor of 
counseling, and by Solange Ribeiro and Julie Russell, who are both 
counselors at UAB's Office of Professional Services, is insightful and 
worthy of attention. That's why I want to share it now with my 
colleagues in Congress and place it in the Record. Their research 
confirms that parenting is the key to raising good children. 
Additionally, they have found four common components necessary to raise 
a child in today's often violent environment: Spirituality, Ability, 
Fairness and Encouragement.
  There have been several high profile tragedies involving children 
recently, and we read so many of the headlines in today's newspapers 
and ask, ``Why?'' Many are quick to fix the blame for these tragedies 
on guns or on the media. The hard truth is that parenting is the core 
of a child's moral and social development. That is the point of the 
article written by these three members of UAB's faculty and it is one 
we should remember, again and again. I thank Professor Crunk and 
Counselors Ribeiro and Russell for their work and for their perceptive 
article, which I now place in the Record in its entirety.

                [From The Birmingham News, May 2, 1999]

After the Mourning--Are We Really Committed to What It Takes to Improve 
             Parenting Skills for Raising Better Children?

           (By Bill Crunk, Solange Ribeiro and Julie Russell)

       Far too frequently, headlines give accounts of children in 
     trouble. Potentially delinquent behavior appears at earlier 
     and earlier ages. Judges demand that parents get their 
     children off the streets at night but fail to point out how 
     to do it. Nationwide research in juvenile delinquency brings 
     forth volumes of papers but few indications for possible 
     solutions.
       There is something deeper that is wrong. Underneath it all 
     is the fact that we don't know what to do with our children, 
     because the traditional methods of child-raising no longer 
     work and we have not learned new methods which can take their 
     place.--Rudolf Dreikurs, noted psychiatrist and author of 
     Children: The Challenge, in 1964.
       Parents today are faced with the challenge of raising a 
     capable child in a violent society. With the tragic events in 
     Colorado, the news media, educators, religious groups and 
     other social institutions are all looking to find answers to 
     the perplexing question, ``How did this happen?''
       Blame is being placed on the media, guns and schools, 
     however, the fact remains that parenting is at the core of a 
     child's moral and social development.
       Research has shown that a child's behavior is a reflection 
     of the home. Unfortunately, all too many families create an 
     atmosphere in which a child has a strong belief of 
     entitlement and a weak sense of responsibility.
       Our research in the Birmingham community found that parents 
     overwhelmingly feel a lack of communication between parents 
     and children contribute to violence. We found that parents 
     feel that an inability to

[[Page E1343]]

     set limits, failure to teach empathy and compassion, failure 
     to connect consequences to behavior, and a lack of moral 
     education were all indicators of poor parenting.
       Interestingly, parents realize that exposure to media 
     violence desensitizes other children to violence but felt 
     that their children could distinguish make-believe from real 
     violence. Parents felt that they could help prevent exposure 
     to violence but on the other hand were overwhelmed with 
     raising children in today's society. All agreed that better 
     parenting skills were needed, yet only half of the parents 
     felt they should spend more time with their children.
       On the other hand, our experiences in working with parents 
     indicates that parents have given their parenting 
     responsibilities to schools, day cares, government programs 
     and others. Unbridled TV watching and computer use have put 
     distance between the parent and his/her child. Parents are 
     confused and worried, particularly when children seem to defy 
     rules and mistake license to do whatever they please for 
     freedom. They have a sense of losing control of their 
     children. Dreikurs talked about this in 1964. More than 30 
     years have passed and we are still dealing with the same 
     issues. Why?
       Parenting takes time, effort and an understanding of 
     children. Four components necessary in raising a capable 
     child in today's environment are spirituality, ability, 
     fairness and encouragement. These are the foundation of our 
     SAFE parenting program.


                            Sense of empathy

       Spirituality, the most important task, is where a child 
     learns values, empathy, purpose and morality. One consistent 
     finding is that children who commit acts of violence lack a 
     sense of empathy, respect and compassion for others.
       The parent's task is to create a home environment that 
     fosters belonging and a connection to the community through 
     our sense of spirituality. If we avoid this parenting task 
     then we raise a child with a ``self-centered me behavior.''
       Children also need to know that they have the ability to 
     make decisions, and that along with these decisions come 
     responsibilities. If parents fail to teach their children 
     what freedom really means (choice, responsibility and 
     consequence), then we foster children who take no 
     responsibility for their actions and tend to blame others for 
     their circumstances.
       Fairness in the home creates a respect for order and 
     cooperation. If children fail to learn fairness they develop 
     a license to behave without respect for others.
       Our fourth component of effective parenting, encouragement, 
     teaches parents how to better communicate to their children 
     that they have worth and ability to master life's challenges. 
     Parents tend to lack skills in communication with their 
     children. From our experience we know parents agree that 
     communication with their children. From our experience we 
     know parents agree that communication is extremely important 
     in raising capable children.
       Unfortunately, most communication is discouraging and 
     directed at correcting or pointing out, a child's inability 
     to meet expectations. Without encouragement, children become 
     discouraged and find life tasks hopeless.
       Dreikurs said it back in 1964: ``Far too frequently, 
     headlines give accounts of children in trouble.'' Are we, as 
     a community, even interested in making an effort to reach 
     parents? How many corporations are serious about their 
     employees' families and the community that they support?


                           Parenting classes

       Aon, a Chicago-based consulting firm, found that the most 
     loyal employees worked for employers that encouraged a 
     balance between family and job demands. How many places of 
     business offer parenting classes during the workday? 
     Government and school systems say they want to do more, but 
     do they?
       How many school counselors are allowed to offer parenting 
     classes at school or in the community as part of their 
     duties? Shouldn't parents whose child is in trouble with 
     family court or at school be required to take parenting 
     classes to pay back to the community for having to take over 
     the parents' responsibilities?
       If we care about the child's welfare, why are divorcing 
     parents not made to go to classes to understand the impact of 
     such a decision on the child and how to develop parenting 
     skills to offset some of the trauma?
       How many churches require parents to participate in 
     parenting courses? If we are all so concerned, how could 
     parents refuse? Print and TV media have made millions off the 
     tragedy in Colorado. Have you read or seen any sponsorship of 
     efforts to improve parenting by the media?
       And we ask the question, why? Will we be asking these 
     questions 30 years from now? Hopefully these violent 
     situations don't have to continue, but our responsibilities 
     as parents do. We have a responsibility to our children to be 
     good parents, and blaming the media, guns and schools won't 
     accomplish what only we as parents can.

     

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