[Congressional Record Volume 143, Number 76 (Thursday, June 5, 1997)]
[Extensions of Remarks]
[Pages E1137-E1139]
From the Congressional Record Online through the Government Publishing Office [www.gpo.gov]


             COMMENDING READER'S DIGEST FOR HELPING PARENTS

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                           HON. STEVE LARGENT

                              of oklahoma

                    in the house of representatives

                         Thursday, June 5, 1997

  Mr. LARGENT. Mr. Speaker, today, I rise to commend Reader's Digest 
for the April 1997 article ``How to Raise Drug-Free Kids.'' Authors Per 
Ola and Emily D'Aulaire focus on the vital role that parents play in 
preventing teenage drug use. I am encouraged by Reader's Digest's 
positive piece to help parents and encourage others in the media to 
follow suit.
  The authors of the article point out that the love and guidance that 
parents show toward their children have a profound impact on their 
children's development and potential drug use. As children go through 
the normal stages of growth from infancy to adolescence, they develop 
relationships with their peers that are based on the early bonds that 
they have formed with their parents. To help prevent drug use, parents 
need to take an active role in their children lives and establish 
strong bonds of love, dedication, and honesty.
  Again, I commend Reader's Digest and authors Per Ola and Emily 
D'Aulaire and encourage others in the media to follow their example. I 
believe we should encourage parents toward positive solutions to help 
our kids.


[[Page E1138]]



                            A Good Beginning

                    (By Per Ola and Emily D'Aulaire)

       When Lauri and Ted Allenbach of Redding, Conn., were 
     married in 1975, they talked about how their kids should be 
     raised. Ted, then 33, had grown up before the drug culture of 
     the '60s. But Lauri, 25, had seen drugs all around her in 
     high school. One girl, high on marijuana, was involved in a 
     near-fatal auto accident. Another got pregnant while stoned 
     on pot. A single evening of ``experimentation'' would alter 
     her life forever. Together, Ted and Lauri made a commitment 
     to do whatever it took to raise their children to be drug-
     free.
       Early Steps. A parent's actions even before a child's birth 
     are critical to helping that child stay off drugs in later 
     years. Drugs, including nicotine and alcohol, can cross the 
     placental barrier and damage a fetus as early as three weeks 
     after conception. And some research suggests that babies born 
     to addicted mothers may be at higher risk of addiction later 
     in their lives.
       In addition, experts agree that loving attention is 
     important in developing lifelong self-worth--and that lack of 
     self-worth is a major reason for drug use. Long before your 
     children are ready for school, establish family guidelines 
     for behavior: honesty, fairness, respect for others and for 
     the law.
       First Lessons. As soon as they're old enough to understand, 
     teach your children that some products found around the 
     house, including household cleaners, aerosols and medicines, 
     can be poisonous.
       As an adult, Ted Allenbach learned he had diabetes. As part 
     of his treatment, he took prescription medication. He 
     explained to his children--Danna, born in 1978, and Mark, 
     born in 1981--that though the pills were good for him, they 
     could be bad--for them. Drill it into your child: ``Don't 
     ever swallow anything new without talking to me first.''


                           elementary school

       Children five to nine years old still learn mainly by 
     experience. They can slide from fact to fantasy and back 
     again without even realizing it. What they see, however, is 
     very real to them.
       Though teachers often achieve herolike status, it's what 
     children encounter at home that counts the most.
       ``With young children, what's important is not what parents 
     say but what they do,'' says Ruth-Ann Flynn, a grade-school 
     teacher from Ridgefield, Conn. ``If children see their 
     parents drinking and smoking, they're more likely to follow 
     that example.''
       Most experts agree that it is okay if your kids see you 
     having an occasional drink. But if they see you using alcohol 
     as a regular coping mechanism, it is not. Moreover, don't let 
     your children be involved in your drinking by having them 
     make you a cocktail or bring you a beer.
       Good Choices. Now is when to begin teaching your children 
     to make decisions on their own, and to impart ``don't be a 
     follower'' lessons.
       Says Flynn, ``I try to make children understand that just 
     because someone tells them to do something, that doesn't mean 
     it's the right thing to do. If they're in doubt, they should 
     ask someone they trust.''
       By the late elementary-school years many children know of 
     classmates who have begun to smoke, drink or use drugs.
       Sniffing Danger. Now is also when kids begin to encounter 
     inhalants: pressurized aerosol products such as paints and 
     cooking sprays or model glue. Kids inhale these volatile 
     substances in order to experience a high. The fact that the 
     momentary ``buzz'' can cause permanent brain damage, even 
     death, doesn't occur to these youngsters.
       One of the most important lessons parents can teach their 
     children at this age is how to say no. Lauri Allenbach 
     advised her kids to give reasons, such as: ``I signed an 
     agreement with my coach that I won't smoke or drink.'' If all 
     else fails, she told Danna and Mark to make her the villain: 
     ``No way. My mom would kill me.''
       Escape Routes. Help kids stay away from places where they 
     may be pressured to use illegal drugs. If there's a party, 
     they should ask, ``Who else is coming?'' and ``Will your 
     parents be home?'' As a last resort, tell your kids if they 
     sense trouble brewing, just get out. Says Viola Nears, a 
     mother of a youngster at an inner-city school, ``I tell him 
     if he smells pot in the bathroom at school, leave. Go to 
     another bathroom fast.''
       Teach your children to be aware of how drugs and alcohol 
     are promoted. Kids nearing their teens are increasingly tuned 
     in to TV, movies and music that bombard them with images of 
     drug and alcohol use. Donna Bell, a Wichita, Kan., 
     coordinator of community participation for the Koch Crime 
     Commission and mother of two drug-free children, kept tabs on 
     what they were watching and listening to. ``Just telling me 
     they were going to the movies wasn't enough. My husband and I 
     would ask what movie and check it out. It's work, but you've 
     got to do it.''
       She also took advantage of ``teaching moments.'' As she 
     says, ``If we were watching Saturday TV together and saw an 
     anti-drug commercial, I'd use that as a jumping-off point. 
     You can't start talking to your kids too soon--and as long as 
     you're not badgering or threatening them, and you keep your 
     message brief and upreaching, you can't do it too often.''
       How do you talk to your kids about drugs? Start anywhere, 
     advises the Partnership for a Drug-Free America, a national 
     coalition. Don't worry about how you kick off the discussion, 
     and don't get discouraged if it seems your kids aren't 
     listening. Make one thing crystal clear: you feel strongly 
     that drugs are dangerous, and you do not want your child to 
     use them.


                          middle-school mania

       This is probably the most vulnerable period in a child's 
     life, a time when peer pressure hits with a vengeance. Their 
     hair gets longer or maybe disappears. Their clothes are 
     bizarre, their music funky. Hormones bubbling, kids this age 
     are curious about everything--and willing to try just about 
     anything that makes them look cool.
       ``This is a vital time for parents to keep all lines of 
     communication open,'' stresses Caitlin Sims, science teacher 
     and head of the after-school drug program at Usher Middle 
     School in Atlanta. ``Too often parents relax their guard, 
     thinking the kids are on their own now. But rushing them into 
     freedom is a recipe for disaster.''
       Sims advises parents to think of the first year of middle 
     school as a new kindergarten. ``There're starting over, 
     suddenly thrown in with older; more sophisticated students,'' 
     she explains. ``Check their book bags. Ask to see their 
     homework. Let them earn their new middle-school 
     responsibility.''
       Facts, Not Fear. Sims and other educators believe that if 
     kids this age are going to resist the peer pressure and 
     temptations around them, they need to be armed with 
     information--not scare tactics.
       ``Many messages kids hear are designed to frighten them,'' 
     notes Lauri Allenbach. `` `If you drink, you'll become an 
     alcoholic; anyone who does drugs is bad.' Then, guess what? 
     They see a friend smoking a little pot at parties, and she's 
     still getting A's. They see a basketball player take a drink, 
     and he's still playing well. The contradiction makes them 
     question the whole message.''
       One teen reported coming home after having smoked some pot 
     at a party. ``My parents were like, `You're going to be a 
     drug addict and die.' They didn't have a clue about drugs.'' 
     Without intending to do so, his parents had closed the door 
     to further discussion.
       ``Most kids today know more about drugs than their 
     parents,'' says Alan Leshner, director of the National 
     Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA). ``That's why parents need to 
     do their own research and speak accurately about what drugs 
     do.''
       Keep advice in the here and now. At middle-school age, 
     talking about long-term health threats doesn't have much 
     effect. Kids are concerned with looking good to their peers. 
     Point out that cigarette smoking causes bad breath and could 
     give them yellow fingers, or that if they drink, they might 
     become ill and throw up in front of their friends.
       Setting Limits. Many young people use drugs simply because 
     their friends do. To reinforce a child's ability to resist, 
     get to know your child's friends and their parents, and 
     monitor your child's whereabouts.
       Steering children toward the right crowd is not always 
     easy. Declaring a friend ``off limits'' may only make that 
     person more appealing. Says Wichita's Donna Bell: ``I advised 
     my girls to choose their friends wisely. `You lie down with 
     the dogs,' I'd say, `you're going to get up with fleas.' 
     They'd laugh--but they knew exactly what I meant.
       Keeping Busy. Research has shown that when teens are 
     unsupervised and have little to do, they are more likely to 
     experiment with drinking and drugs. Keep children involved 
     and busy.
       When Atlanta's Caitlin Sims first began teaching, her 
     principal gave a friendly warning: ``If you don't give them 
     something to do, they'll give you something to do.''
       As Sims recalls, ``It was good advice for me, but in truth 
     it's good advice for the parents of any middle-school 
     child.'' Extracurricular activities and chores at home keep 
     kids busy and add to their sense of responsibility.
       Staying Involved. ``Twenty years of scientific research 
     have shown that direct parental involvement in the life of 
     the child is the most protective factor in increasing the 
     odds that a kid will remain drug-free, '' says NIDA's Alan 
     Leshner.
       Lithangia Murray, an Atlanta mother of two, puts 
     involvement at the top of her list of ways to raise a drug-
     free child. ``Parents aren't a key--they're the key,'' she 
     says. ``You have to be a part of your children's lives and be 
     aware of any changes in their behavior.''
       U.S. Secretary of Education Richard W. Riley urges parents 
     to visit their child's school and talk to teachers and 
     administrators. Find out what you can do to improve drug-
     prevention programs.


                           high-school tests

       Peer pressure still holds sway. Being accepted as one of 
     the gang is a top priority. And though susceptibility to 
     influence may be less than it was during the middle-school 
     years, exposure to drugs and alcohol is even greater--
     especially once a teen gets a driver's license.
       Kids this age need to be reminded that as bad as drugs and 
     alcohol are for their bodies, what those substances can make 
     them do can be equally dangerous. Joseph A. Califano, Jr., 
     former Secretary of Health, Education and Welfare and now 
     president of The National Center on Addiction and 
     Substance Abuse at Columbia University in New York City, 
     notes that getting involved in an automobile accident when 
     high can result in being killed or maimed, or killing or 
     maiming someone else. ``Smoking marijuana,'' he warns, 
     ``is like playing Russian roulette.

[[Page E1139]]

     Some kids are going to get hit with the bullet in the 
     chamber and have their lives permanently affected.''
       A hot question among baby-boomer parents today is: ``What 
     can I say to my kids if I smoked pot when I was younger?'' If 
     confronted by your children, be open and honest. Author Peggy 
     Noonan, who experimented with pot in college, offers this 
     advice to other parents: ``You did it, and it was wrong--be 
     an adult and say so. It's one thing to be ambivalent about 
     your own choices. It's another to be ambivalent about your 
     child's.''
       To every parent the U.S. Department of Education offers 
     these words of advice: ``Setting rules for a child is only 
     half the job. Parents must be prepared to enforce the 
     penalties when the rules are broken.'' Experts recommend:
       Be specific. Make sure your child knows what the rules are, 
     the reasons for them and what the consequences will be if 
     they're broken. When Mark and Danna Allenbach neared driving 
     age, their father told them, ``If either of you ever drink 
     and drive, you can say goodbye to anything to do with our 
     cars. There will be no second chances. Once, and it's over. 
     You're too important to lose.''
       Be consistent. ``Just saying no'' can be as hard for 
     parents as it is for a kid. Sometimes caving in to a 
     persistent request is the path of least resistance. But if 
     the answer to a request should be no, stick to it.
       Be reasonable. Don't add new consequences after a rule is 
     broken, and make sure the punishment is appropriate. 
     ``Consequences are most effective when they fit the 
     infraction,'' says Olive O'Donnell, education director of the 
     National Family Partnership, a substance-abuse prevention 
     group in St. Louis. ``Grounding may be appropriate for a 
     broken curfew, but it's meaningless when applied to something 
     such as not making the bed.''
       Keep Listening. According to the Partnership for a Drug-
     Free America, it's important that parents ``don't do all the 
     talking.'' If you listen carefully to your children and read 
     between the lines, you can learn a lot about what they think 
     about drugs--and help them avoid the pitfalls.
       To keep children away from drugs, one thing is clear: 
     schools, community, religious institutions, the police--all 
     of them can help. But no one can replace the family.
       Lauri and Ted Allenbach invested a lot of time fulfilling 
     their commitment to raise their children to be drug-free. It 
     has paid off--neither child has been involved with alcohol or 
     drugs. ``You have to have control over your life,'' says 
     Danna, now a freshman at James Madison University in 
     Harrisonburg, VA. Mark, a high-school sophomore, has no 
     interest in drugs. ``I'm pretty confident,'' he says. ``I 
     don't think I'm going to fold.''
       The work that parents do is critical. Experts agree it is 
     highly likely that youngsters who don't do drugs as teens 
     will not do drugs as adults.
       Talk to your children. Listen to them. Set standards of 
     right and wrong. Keep in mind that they learn by example. 
     Love, support and praise them so they will have a sense of 
     self-worth. Keep them busy. Be involved with--and on top of--
     their lives. Educate yourself about drugs.
       Remember, don't let your silence be acceptance.

       

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