[Congressional Record Volume 143, Number 58 (Wednesday, May 7, 1997)]
[House]
[Page H2258]
From the Congressional Record Online through the Government Publishing Office [www.gpo.gov]




                  CONDOMS SUBJECT TO MILITARY SCRUTINY

  (Mr. TRAFICANT asked and was given permission to address the House 
for 1 minute and to revise and extend his remarks.)
  Mr. TRAFICANT. Mr. Speaker, even though the Pentagon is cutting costs 
and talented officers are being forced out, the Pentagon spent $90,000 
last year to study condom preference and the failure rates of condoms 
in the military.
  If that is not enough to kill your rabbit, the Pentagon still does 
not know if a Patriot missile can stop the Silkworm, but they know for 
sure which condom can save the Republic. What is next, Mr. Speaker, a 
$100,000 study to find out if soldiers prefer boxer shorts over briefs? 
If women in the military prefer Maidenform over Wonder Bra?
  Beam me up. I say with this study the Pentagon has reached the apex 
of their condominium. There is no budget crisis in the District of 
Columbia. There is a common sense crisis in the District of Columbia.
  I yield back the balance of any heretofore untested condoms still 
subject to military scrutiny.

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