[Congressional Record Volume 142, Number 97 (Thursday, June 27, 1996)]
[Extensions of Remarks]
[Page E1189]
From the Congressional Record Online through the Government Publishing Office [www.gpo.gov]

[[Page E1189]]


                         THOUGHTS ON MOTHERHOOD

                                 ______
                                 

                           HON. HENRY J. HYDE

                              of illinois

                    in the house of representatives

                        Thursday, June 27, 1996

  Mr. HYDE. Mr. Speaker, last Mother's Day, Terry Gnezda Peckham, the 
wife of Gardner Peckham, an assistant in the Speaker's office, wrote a 
beautiful and profound paper entitled ``Thoughts on Motherhood.''
  Her statement is pure literature and I urge my colleagues to take the 
time to read it carefully. They will be enriched.

               Thoughts on Motherhood--Mothers' Day 1996

                       (By Terry Gnezda Peckham)

       When Father DeSilva asked me to speak today about 
     motherhood, I was very honored to have the chance to share 
     some of my feelings and experiences with you. I'm sure that I 
     am not alone when I think of motherhood as probably the most 
     treasured experience I will ever have. I'm also sure that all 
     of you can remember, as I do, special moments when you have 
     been overcome by the intensity and the beauty of the love you 
     share with your children.
       I can vividly remember a beautiful early Summer afternoon 
     two years ago when my daughters were playing in our backyard. 
     School had just ended and the girls seemed so carefree and 
     happy. As I looked out the window that day at my two precious 
     daughters, I thought, life is great! I felt so happy and 
     proud that my husband and I could have given our daughters 
     such a wonderful start in life. They had a nice house in a 
     nice neighborhood, two healthy parents, and a safe, loving, 
     and secure family. On that afternoon I felt so lucky and so 
     overwhelmed with love for my girls, that all the ups and 
     downs of motherhood were replaced with a sense of deep 
     satisfaction and peace. I remember thinking that that was 
     going to be an especially wonderful Summer for us.
       Three weeks later, everything had changed when I found 
     myself in the hospital confronting the fact that I was 
     seriously ill. My doctors outlined a plan for several months 
     of horrible and debilitating treatment that would end with 
     extremely serious surgery.
       I was terrified--terrified of the treatment, and terrified 
     of what could happen to me if things didn't go as the doctors 
     had planned. I didn't know how I would find the strength to 
     get through it. But, no matter how uncertain my future was at 
     that point, I knew I had to fight this illness--mostly 
     because of my two girls; they were only 4 and 7 at the time, 
     and we still had so much to share.
       So, with support from my husband, my family and friends, 
     and with God's help, I was able to find the strength I needed 
     to get through my ordeal.
       And, thankfully, things went as my doctors had planned, and 
     I'm here--and I expect to be here for a long, long, time. But 
     this experience, as awful as it was, has led me to a deeper 
     understanding of many things, one of which is motherhood. It 
     has also led me to an unquestionable respect for the power of 
     God's love that flows between mothers and their children.
       Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to be a mother. I 
     used to love to go to Church on Sunday morning and watch all 
     the young mothers with their babies. Sometimes I'd even take 
     one of my dolls with me so that I could pretend that I, too, 
     was a young mother. I couldn't imagine anything more 
     wonderful than to have a house full of children. I dreamed 
     about how much fun it would be to watch them all grow, 
     sharing their interests and their dreams and bringing so much 
     love and excitement to life.
       I think I played with dolls longer than any of my friends, 
     and I grew up in great anticipation of having children of my 
     own.
       Well, motherhood has turned out to be much, much more than 
     I could have ever dreamed. I love being a mother and think 
     it's just about the greatest gift that God has ever given me.
       It's awfully hard to put into words what motherhood is 
     really all about. Sometimes it seems too demanding, too 
     tiring, and too overwhelming to cope with, and other times it 
     is incredibly rewarding, very inspiring, and deeply 
     satisfying. Motherhood pushes us to our limits, physically, 
     emotionally, and often intellectually, as we and our children 
     experience life together.
       Through motherhood, we face every possible emotion with an 
     intensity that is unparalleled in other aspects of life. When 
     our children are happy, we are overjoyed, and when they're 
     sad we ache inside, often because we feel powerless to take 
     away the pain. This intensity of feeling brings such pride 
     (the kind that makes you well-up inside with tears), it keeps 
     us focused on our responsibilities, and leads us to so much 
     uncertainty (and sometimes guilt) as we wonder if we're doing 
     the right thing as we bring-up our children.
       For--here is this person who needs parents for everything--
     for protection, for love, and for guidance--guidance to learn 
     about the world, to learn about other people, to learn how to 
     behave, and to learn about himself or herself.
       And here we are, with our husbands, responsible for 
     teaching this person all the things that we think are most 
     important to provide a sound foundation to guide our child's 
     life.
       One of the most remarkable things that happens as a result 
     of motherhood is that we learn a great deal about ourselves. 
     It is through motherhood that we come closer to an 
     understanding of who we are, and therefore, what God has 
     given us to share with our children. In fact, I think 
     motherhood brings us into the most intimate relationships 
     that we will ever have with other human beings. And at the 
     heart of this intimacy is honesty and love.
       It's not hard to be honest with our children about what we 
     think, feel, or believe, because most of the time it seems 
     that they can see right through us, or at least they sense 
     when something doesn't seem right. And it's a remarkable 
     thing to be honest with our children about who we are, 
     because it gives us the freedom to enjoy life with them in a 
     wonderful way.
       With our children, together, we realize that it's O.K. to 
     be spontaneous or silly sometimes. It's good to have fun and 
     laugh. It's also very important to cuddle and hug the people 
     we love, and to trust that there is someone who accepts us as 
     we are, loves us without question, and is always there.
       But children must also learn that sometimes it's important 
     to be serious, it's normal to be mad or sad, or disappointed, 
     and fear and unhappiness are part of life, too.
       And as we teach our children all of these realities of 
     life, we must also show them the value of having a deep and 
     enduring faith in God. For it is through God's love and his 
     presence in all of us that we are able to celebrate our joys 
     and endure our pain. With this knowledge, children can trust 
     that they are never alone and that God will help them get 
     through anything that life brings.
       Together, the intimate relationships with parents, and an 
     enduring faith in God help children to grow into people who 
     accept themselves and others, and feel compassion toward all 
     humanity.
       So, motherhood is a monumental responsibility, but it is 
     full of love, joy, and countless rewards. In fact, it is 
     God's most important work.
       And, even though I still dread making brown bag lunches for 
     school every day, dislike the struggle over homework every 
     night, and tire of reminding my girls to brush their teeth 
     before they go to bed, I wouldn't trade those moments for 
     anything, because they're part of it all.
       And it's when they play together for hours on end singing 
     so happily, or read to each other, cuddling closely on the 
     sofa, or when they marvel at the shapes of the clouds or the 
     colors of the sky--or even when they sit up in the middle of 
     the night, fold their hands and pray that they won't have 
     anymore nightmares--that's when motherhood really feels 
     worthwhile. Or, when we get all those hugs that come out 
     nowhere, or when they look up at us with such trust and love, 
     or when they want to share every last detail of their day, 
     that's also when motherhood feels worthwhile.
       My girls are still in primary and elementary school, so I 
     know we've got a long way to go together, but I have faith 
     that the love we have for each other will get us through 
     whatever the future brings, and I know that God will be there 
     to help us.
       And so, even though my girls are a little older now, I 
     often wonder if when they were babies and I took them to 
     Church on Sunday mornings, if maybe, just maybe, there was a 
     little girl who dreamed, as I had so many years ago, about 
     how wonderful it will be to be a mommy. To that little girl 
     and all the other little girls here today, I hope you will 
     keep dreaming, and that someday you, too, will be blessed 
     with the gift of motherhood.

                          ____________________