[Congressional Record Volume 142, Number 92 (Thursday, June 20, 1996)]
[Extensions of Remarks]
[Pages E1147-E1148]
From the Congressional Record Online through the Government Publishing Office [www.gpo.gov]




    RECOGNIZING SAME SEX MARRIAGE IS IN THE INTEREST OF THE MAJORITY

                                 ______


                           HON. BARNEY FRANK

                            of massachusetts

                    in the house of representatives

                        Thursday, June 20, 1996

  Mr. FRANK of Massachusetts. Mr. Speaker, I recently received a letter 
from a former congressional staffer who passed along to me a column she 
had found in the Cleveland Plain Dealer on the subject of the pending 
same sex marriage bill. I think the article is an eloquent and forceful 
explanation of a point of view which very much ought to be understood 
by the Members before they vote on this legislation, and I ask that it 
be reprinted here.

            [From the Cleveland Plain Dealer, June 9, 1996]

  Same-Sex Marriages Deserve Recognition; Partners Need the Chance to 
                             Live in Peace

       In a nation wracked by child abuse, domestic violence and 
     divorce, it's hard to believe that politicians would spend 
     their energy condemning people for loving each other. But 
     that's exactly the effect of the so-called Defense of 
     Marriage Act, which would prevent the U.S. government from 
     recognizing same-sex marriages, even if those marriages are 
     legal in individual states.
       The act's congressional sponsors describe it as 
     ``protection'' for the American family. However, as a married 
     man, I am unable to discern the threat. On the contrary, I 
     have come to believe that legalizing gay unions would 
     actually strengthen the institution of marriage.
       I did not always hold this conviction. As a teenager, I was 
     bombarded with the same messages about homosexuals as most 
     Americans. And I absorbed those messages: Gays were strange, 
     perverted, lacking in morals. Besides, in my obsession with 
     my own burgeoning heterosexuality, it seemed unfathomable 
     that any male would not be sexually interested in females.
       In the ensuing years, my opinions began to shift as I 
     learned about the origins of sexual orientation. But I didn't 
     change much until about age 25. That's when I met Bob and 
     Scott.

[[Page E1148]]

       Bob was a co-worker of Kelly, my girlfriend whom I would 
     later marry. One day, Bob asked Kelly if we would like to 
     join them for dinner. Kelly accepted readily, but my 
     discomfort was palpable. On the way there, I asked Kelly what 
     I should do if either of these men tried to hug me.
       My uneasiness lasted throughout the evening. And even 
     today, more than a decade later, it still creeps up on me at 
     times. But as I got to know Bob and Scott, and other gay 
     people since then, I reached this conclusion about homosexual 
     relationships: They are not much different from heterosexual 
     ones.
       At their essence is the same kind of spark that exists 
     between straight couples. They go through the same 
     excitements and disappointments. And, like their straight 
     counterparts, gay relationships are far more about respect, 
     trust and commitment than they are about sex.
       The most significant difference between gay and straight 
     relationships, I discovered, was the atmosphere in which they 
     exist. The love between straight people is celebrated and 
     affirmed; gay love is attacked and condemned.
       Legalizing homosexual marriages would diminish these 
     attacks. It would take the wind from the sails of the true 
     sexual bigots, encouraging an evolution in attitude similar 
     to the one we have experienced with interracial and inter-
     religious unions. Gay people, at least to some extent, would 
     be freed from their embattled status.
       But the benefits of gay marriage, I believe, would extend 
     beyond the gay community.
       The rest of us would benefit because legitimizing gay 
     marriage would bolster the institution of marriage. How? By 
     reminding all of us that at its core, marriage is not so much 
     about gender, or sex, or politics, but about caring, 
     maturing, committed love.

                          ____________________