[Congressional Record Volume 142, Number 43 (Tuesday, March 26, 1996)]
[House]
[Page H2846]
From the Congressional Record Online through the Government Publishing Office [www.gpo.gov]




            GOVERNMENT AND PRIVATE STUDIES, A LITTLE GOOFY?

  (Mr. TRAFICANT asked and was given permission to address the House 
for 1 minute and to revise and extend his remarks.)
  Mr. TRAFICANT. Mr. Speaker, I thought the Federal Government was a 
little goofy when they studied bovine flatulence, but there have been a 
couple of private studies that got my attention. One was the dynamics 
of peeling adhesive tape. The private study found out that it is very 
difficult to peel off tape in just one piece.
  The second one was the pigeon discrimination of paintings by Monet 
and Picasso. They determined that, really, pigeons do not discriminate. 
They may defecate, but no discrimination is involved.
  Then there is the big one: the impact of wet underwear on 
thermoregulatory responses and thermal comfort in cold. What they 
determined was if you wear wet underwear in frigid weather, you freeze 
your buns off.
  If we think this is a waste of money, check this out, Congress: The 
FDA has spent $200,000 for tea tasters, $200,000 for a tea-tasting 
commission.
  Mr. Speaker, beam me up. I yield back the balance of all of this 
money, both private and public.

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