[Congressional Record Volume 142, Number 14 (Thursday, February 1, 1996)]
[Extensions of Remarks]
[Page E137]
From the Congressional Record Online through the Government Publishing Office [www.gpo.gov]




                       A FATHER'S LETTER TO SANTA

                                 ______


                        HON. JOHN J. DUNCAN, JR.

                              of tennessee

                    in the house of representatives

                      Wednesday, January 31, 1996

  Mr. DUNCAN. Mr. Speaker, one of the most respected men in Tennessee, 
Jim Haslam, chairman of the Pilot Oil Corporation, recently sent me a 
copy of ``A Father's Letter to Santa.''
  This letter was sent to Mr. Haslam by Kevin O'Neill, the head 
basketball coach of the University of Tennessee. This piece was 
originally written by David Chartrand, a columnist for the Olathe, KS, 
Daily News.
  I hope that all of my colleagues and many readers of the Record from 
all across the country will take time to read this and pass it on to 
others:

                       A Father's Letter to Santa

       Dear Santa: My five-year-old boy scribbled out his 
     Christmas list. It's there by the fireplace. The Coke and 
     M&Ms are from him, in case you're hungry. You know five-year-
     olds these days. The Cheezits are from me.
       Santa, if you don't mind, I thought I'd go ahead and leave 
     my list, too. It's long, but do what you can.
       It's all I want for Christmas.


                     christmas list from his father

       Santa, let my little boy grow up still believing that he 
     has the funniest dad in the neighborhood.
       Give him many close friends, both boys and girls. May they 
     fill his days with adventure, security and dirty fingernails.
       Leave his mom and me some magic dust that will keep him 
     just the size he is now. We'd just as soon he stayed five 
     years old three feet, four inches.
       If he must grow up, make sure he still wants to sit on my 
     lap at bedtime and read ``The Frog and the Toad.''
       If you can help it, Santa, never let him be sent into war. 
     His mother and I love our country, but we love our five-year-
     old boy more.
       While you're at it, give our world leaders a copy of the 
     ``The Killer Angels,'' Michael Shaara's retelling of the 
     Battle of Gettysburg. May it remind them that too many moms 
     and dads have wept at Christmas for soldiers who died in 
     battles that needn't have been fought.
       Let our house always be filled with slamming doors and 
     toilet seats, which are the official sounds of little boys.
       Break it to him gently, Santa, that his dad won't always be 
     able to carry him to bed at night or brush his teeth for him. 
     Teach him courage in the face of such change.
       Let him understand that no matter how nice you are to 
     everyone, the world will sometimes break your heart. As you 
     know, Santa, a child's feelings are fragile as moth wings.
       Let him become a piano player, a soccer star or a priest. 
     Or all three. Anything but a tax-and-spend Democrat.
       Give him a hunger for books, music and geography. May he be 
     the first kid in Kindergarten to be able to find Madagascar 
     on a map.
       The kid's a born artist, Santa, so send more crayons. May 
     our kitchen window and refrigerator doors be ever plastered 
     with his sketches of surreal rainbows and horse with big 
     ears.
       Through the years steer him oh so carefully to that little 
     girl destined to be his bride. Let his mother and me still be 
     around when he walks her down the aisle. If there's a just 
     God, let her daddy be obscenely rich.
       Grant him a heart that will cherish what his parents did 
     right and forgive us for the mistakes we surely will have 
     made over a lifetime of raising him.
       Let him not hold it against us that he was born with my 
     chin and his mother's ears. Time will teach him that these 
     are God's ways of girding him for life's adversities.
       Hold him steady on the day that he learns the truth about 
     you and the Easter Bunny. May he take the news better than I 
     did.
       While you're flying around the heavens, Santa, make sure 
     God has heard our prayer for this child: Lead my little boy 
     not into temptation; deliver him from evil.
       Be careful out there, Santa. And close the flue on your way 
     up.

                          ____________________