[Congressional Record Volume 142, Number 8 (Tuesday, January 23, 1996)]
[Extensions of Remarks]
[Page E59]
From the Congressional Record Online through the Government Publishing Office [www.gpo.gov]




                           DOONESBURY COUPON

                                 ______


                        HON. PATRICIA SCHROEDER

                              of colorado

                    in the house of representatives

                       Tuesday, January 23, 1996

  Mrs. SCHROEDER. Mr. Speaker, one of my constituents, Tom McIntosh, 
has accurately remarked on efforts by this Congress to obliterate our 
country's natural resources.
  Using a Doonesbury cartoon that clearly demonstrates current efforts 
by my colleagues on the other side of the aisle to sell our forests and 
wilderness areas, Mr. McIntosh's observations, along with Garry 
Trudeau's national call, are right on the dot.
  Mr. Speaker, my constituent's concern for the protection of our 
environment--for the sake of his granddaughter's future--is quite 
compelling, and quite real, and I am inserting both the Doonesbury 
coupon and Mr. McIntosh's comments into the Congressional Record:

                                     Aurora, CO, January 23, 1996.
       Mr. Speaker: After reading the Doonesbury cartoon in my 01/
     14/96 newspaper, I too want to enter my bid for your sale of 
     America's resources for fractions of a penny on the dollar.
       I didn't see a lot number, but mark me down for a bid on 
     the capitol and both wings of it. I want to use all of the 
     hot air (a valuable thermal resource) to help reduce the 
     winter heating bills for various Minnesotans and Alaskans, 
     plus residents of Maybell, CO. I bid $25.
       As for Lot number 193--Wilderness mineral rights--with an 
     approximate street value over $1 billion, I'll up the 
     suggested bid of $1,200 to $1,201. As a deserving good 
     citizen, I'll dutifully pay my capital gains (After you 
     reduce capital gains taxes to a pittance) when I complete the 
     sale to Exxon and Newmont Mining, plus a little leftovers for 
     3M.
       Oh, let's not forget Lot number 147, the Alaskan old-growth 
     forests. The suggested bid of $1.60/tree seems a little high, 
     what with the transportation costs and all. How about $1.45? 
     Would you mark me down for two dozen?
       I missed some of the other lots. Perhaps you can send me a 
     catalog.
       Now seriously, Mr. Speaker:
       What Mr. Trudeau is obviously alluding to in his cartoons 
     of the past two weeks is the absolutely ridiculous 
     liquidation of this nation's most precious and most-
     difficult-to-replace natural resources by Congress. Have you 
     folks no conscience and no shame? I for one would like to 
     know that Kayla, my beloved grand-daughter will be able to 
     live in this country without having to breathe through an 
     oxygen mask and wear a lead-lined pants-suit to protect her 
     from the environmental hazards brought on by the reckless 
     actions of the 1996 Congress. Would you all please get 
     real????
           Sincerely,
     Tom McIntosh.
                                                                    ____


          U.S. Natural Resources Liquidation Auction Bid Form

     To: Rep. Newt Gingrich.
       {time}  Yes! I would like to bid on some of the choice 
     national assets now being liquidated by Congress.
     Lot #147--Alaskan Old-Growth Forests
       Opportunity to clear-cut 500-year-old trees. Valued at 
     $50,000 a tree; suggested bid: $1.60 a tree. My Bid: ________
     Lot #183--Wilderness Mineral Rights
       Opportunity to mine pristine wilderness area. Valued at $1 
     billion+; suggested bid $1,200. My Bid: ________
     Lot #275--Prime Western Grazing Land
       Opportunity to denude taxpayer-maintained range land. 
     Market value: $10.30 per cow and calf per month. Suggested 
     bid: $1.61. My Bid: ________
       Name: ____________________
       Street: ____________________
       City: __________ State ________ Zip ______
       Signature: ____________________
       Send To: The Speaker of the House, U.S. Congress, 
     Washington, D.C. 20515; or Call: (202) 225-3121; or Fax: (202 
      225-7733.

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