[Congressional Record Volume 141, Number 14 (Tuesday, January 24, 1995)]
[House]
[Pages H554-H555]
From the Congressional Record Online through the Government Publishing Office [www.gpo.gov]




               THE NEW ANTIFEMININE TRENCH INFECTION PILL

  (Mrs. SCHROEDER asked and was given permission to address the House 
for 1 minute.)
  [[Page H555]] Mrs. SCHROEDER. Mr. Speaker, last week I addressed the 
House on the Speaker's college course about the sexes, and since then 
we have learned a lot more.
  The Speaker at that time had made some comments about how men did so 
much better in trenches than women because men were like little piglets 
and liked to roll around and women got infections every 30 days.
  Well, since then, the Defense Department has spoken, medical science 
has spoken, and all sorts of people have spoken, and they seem to be 
very contrary to what the Speaker has talked about.
  But in the interim, from my district comes good news. Father Marshall 
Grouley has brought forth the new antifeminine trench infection pill, 
and I think this is going to be the answer for those who are still 
doubting unbelievers. He also notes there are some possible side 
effects for women taking this--that, No. 1, they might find sudden 
urges to roll around in trenches as piglets; No. 2, they may suddenly 
decide they have to hunt giraffes; and No. 3, they may have a 
compulsive need to sell a book.


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