[Congressional Record Volume 140, Number 40 (Thursday, April 14, 1994)]
[House]
[Page H]
From the Congressional Record Online through the Government Printing Office [www.gpo.gov]


[Congressional Record: April 14, 1994]
From the Congressional Record Online via GPO Access [wais.access.gpo.gov]

 
 A VISIT FROM THE TAX MEN--WITH APOLOGIES TO CLEMENT C. MOORE AND ST. 
                                  NICK

  The SPEAKER pro tempore. Under a previous order of the House, the 
gentleman from California [Mr. Horn] is recognized for 5 minutes.
  Mr. HORN. Mr. Speaker, knowing the friendship you and I have and 
operating on a bipartisan basis, I only wish that the House were 
meeting tomorrow, since tomorrow is a day that the Democrats should 
really be celebrating, which is the national tax day. I have a little 
bit of advice based on a visit from the tax man, with apologies to 
Clement C. Moore and also to St. Nick.

                              {time}  1730

  Twas the night before Tax Day, When all through the land, Not a 
creature was stirring, Not a soul was on hand.
  But the tax forms were hung by the doors with great fear; In hopes 
that the Democrats wouldn't come near.
  The taxpayers were cowering, hiding under their beds, While visions 
of ``tax and pretend'' Democrats danced in their heads.
  And Mama with her 1040's, and I with my pen, Were waiting with our 
wallets to be cleaned out again.
  When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed 
to see what was the matter.
  Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and 
threw up the sash, not the cash.
  The moon shown down with a strange, eerie glow, Giving luster to the 
broken tax promises strewn out below.
  When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a Democratic 
Congress and their tax collecteers.
  With a jolly-faced driver and his tax bags to fill, I knew in a 
moment it must be Saint Bill.
  More rapid than eagles the collectors they came, While the Democrats 
whistled and called them by name:
  ``On Increased Spending.'' ``On Retroactivity.''
  ``On Middle Class Poverty. ``Yes, onward Proclivity.''
  ``To the largest tax boost in history, passed by a margin of one.''
  ``To the greatest tax hike ever under the sun.''
  They went straight to their work, deterred they were not. Now they've 
got what it takes to get what we've got.
  They sprang to their sleigh, to the collectors gave a whistle, And 
the taxes flew higher than the pollen of a thistle.
  ``Now dash away, dash away, let's watch the taxpayers fret. They said 
the Democratic tax boost will sink them even deeper in debt.''
  But I heard the Democrats explain, ere they drove out of sight, 
``Happy Tax Day to all, and to all a good night.''

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